Life

"Listen with an open mind, but don't try to remember this stuff. There's no quiz at the end." Jack Kornfield







Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Thoughts... Stories...

I couldn't think of an appropriate picture today...just a jumble of thoughts...that's nothing new for me =^..^= Spent a goodly portion of last evening with a friend of mine figuring out how to move avies across the Help Islands...it can be done. The old Mentors could and would do it for you...both moving volunteers and I think they could either move you directly, or facilitate a move via Lindens if you inadvertently teleported off an island before you were ready. Anyway, moves can be done, just a sequence to follow. I've a friend from Japan that has found her passion in volunteering there...she and I both firmly believe that just as in a real world medical emergency {the golden hour}...the first sixty minutes in Secondlife so often determines our success in staying. I had a text message from a friend last evening just before bedtime...it made me think of the parallels between the *real world* and this *second world*. My friend Amy has had to totally support her husband and children for a number of months now after her husband lost his job. In their case...it wasn't possible for him to take a rather menial job {day labor..whatever} because of the cost of child care. So she would be on the road, sometimes over a long weekend, while he watched their children {his and theirs}. Amy's just days short of 23...and is having to grow up so fast...has had to grow up fast for a long time now. I've gotten to know just a tiny bit of her family story and I don't think it was an *Ozzie & Harriet* life. But, when I hear the Amy stories...while it's sad...it lets me believe that some of our young people are made of great material. The kid's going to be OK...I've not had a chance to know her long but I have faith in her...{and some that know me know I'll put a foot in hubbies butt if he screws this up! } :-) There are benefits in getting old..{next year I'll try to list them if I can remember them!}. I've learned not to say exactly the first thing that comes to mind...some times. I brook no male chauvinist crap...and while the long range benefits to my friends can be good... the early fallout is often intense. A couple of years ago one of my friends indicated to me that her RL/SL relationship wasn't an equal one...IE, she paid for the parcel, he decided on the house...he decided everything. It wasn't long before he decided he didn't like me either {what a surprise!}...you see, I had no problem laying out to my friend that a house choice {and other things} was an equal opportunity situation. Well...as often happens to many women...she caved in to his wishes...for a while. Today she's back...she's safe...she's her own person now. {And in the interest of harmony...I don't send him IMs telling him what I really think :-)) }...I'm so proud of her. My passport with a visa from the Republic of India came via Fed-EX from the Indian consulate yesterday. What a difference some years can make...quick story. In early 1970 I was applying for a job with Roscoe Moss, a water well drilling company out of LA. While I've often had social "issues"...I am/was great at dealing with bureaucracy...I spent my last working years dealing primarily with government construction contracts at the implementation level. Roscoe Moss had just gotten a multimillion dollar contract to drill water supply wells in Libya...I sent my application for a visa to the Libyan government as a precursor for employment. Denied! I wasn't laughing then...today I find it hilarious that a country that would assist in blowing an airliner out of the air would deny me a visa because of an extensive criminal record. Today, I get to go do a little shopping for a few things for my coming trip...and send an E mail to my bank for an appointment. My trip to India will be exciting...fun...and most of all a pilgrimage. Karma...maybe I get to repair a little in this life...thank you to The Republic of India. And so it goes I do love you all, brinda Namaste

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

All leave a Part Here

Parcels...Some Empty...Some full...
***
There is a flow of residents at any location in Secondlife.
Rare is the SLurl location that remains unchanged...almost all the places mentioned to explore in "The Official Guide to Secondlife" are no longer there.My first island home is no longer named the same...and if I hadn't found a leftover landmark in and alts inventory, it would be "gone".

I've spoken before to the apparent compression of time that seems to exist here.My first resident left for a brief period...returned...left...and now is likely to remain as long as Benares is here.I have another that lives in a modest place on the East shore that's been here almost two years...since just after this place existed.The first four still have places here although Twinkles real life career in Bangladesh pretty well precludes her coming but rarely.

We have seen some go recently...some left to be with a relationship.

Some left to join the list of us that commit a substantial portion of income to pursuing the Secondlife dream.

Friends call...Role play calls...

And some came...and more will...

What I have found is this...Everyone that comes here and spends any time with us...leaves a part of themselves here...

They also leave a mark on my life...I am blessed to have had people touch me.

What ever the journey we try...enjoy...it's a part of this grand illusion.

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda

Namaste

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Such Love...a reason to stay

Cylindrian Rutabaga / Grace Buford Photo credits RL from her facebook profile & Screenshot by Crap Mariner This is Secondlife...these are things that happen here, maybe they do happen other places... but I know how rare it can be to find an outpouring of love for someone you may not see in person...or since only 40% of us are from the USA... a person that's not of your culture or country. OK..hopefully these links will work..if not..please take the time to go manually search for this story as well as the song. It will be worth your time. Wagner James Au's... NEW WORLD NOTES...actually if you google that *New World Notes* it takes you to the first page...and first post. Sorry the link wouldn't work. Crap mariners blog.. http://firstlife.isfullofcrap.com/2009/12/making_a_difference.html For the *in world* music scene...this IS the guy. Just in case you're only interested in the music it's here. http://youtube.com/watch?v=2Kc7vWyVIKQ&feature=player_embedded# Flying is wonderful...creating stuff is fun...chatting with people from all over the world is beyond belief....But it's stories like this that keep me here. And so it goes I love you all, brinda Namaste

Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Benares Shop & My Ramblings Today

The Shop at the Ross Infohub

I had a chance to rent this space a few weeks ago and waited a couple days too long... the chance slipped away. Then a week or ten days ago I saw the renters time was running out and his content was gone...I IMed Prokofy asking about this space and found that Angela T had first refusal...fortunately She let me have this space and took the one just across the plaza. This shows me once again that civility and patience helps :-)) .

I've set up photos of our islands and some notecard/landmark givers there as advertising... the $4 dollars a month is really cheap. Sure as heck beats that 30USD I paid Xstreet for a 100,000 clic banner ad {the ad that saw maybe 8 visitors to our place and zero contacts}.

I want to set out a few freebies for nooblets...and eventually have enough prims left over to allow Benares residents to sell content. BTW, any content at the shop would need to be boxed... must be rated PG... and not ripped. Either myself or Poly will inspect all content listed for compliance with DMCA rules.

Ross has a special place in my heart as it was where I entered Secondlife nearly one thousand days ago...my first *home position*. It's where I met Prokofy, joined the Sutherland Dam discussion group and where I eventually took my first steps into being involved into a part of the social fabric of Secondlife.

I know that most of you aren't interested in the gossip...trolling...flaming...hate and discontent so often found in many if not all of the forums. I rarely post anything there...none of the above actions are things I choose to be a part of...but I do have some blogs I follow and comment on. For me it's a part of being involved in Secondlife...not just a passive member. Just as in real life, knowing people, knowing who to talk to about what can certainly help.

I hope all of you find something wonderful has happened to you this past year...for me meeting you, and having you become a part of both my family at Benares and in Secondlife is a treasured gift.

May your burdens be light in the coming year.

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda

Namaste

Friday, December 25, 2009

Thinking

So many thoughts at almost the end of my second year at Benares... and fast closing in on my first one thousand days in Secondlife. Christmas hasn't been a big deal for me since I was a teenager {trust me...that was long before most of you were born}. My Father liked to call himself a *junky*...now not the kind of junky I became. He worked at a place that gave it's employees an hour for lunch and just a block or so down the street was a row of salvage yards...junk yards...many days he would walk there and rummage through odds and ends looking for *gold* =^..^=. One day he came home with a large paper box of books...the complete works of Mark Twain, all thirty some volumes. Printed on cheap high acid paper the only three volumes I have left are so fragile today that to dog ear a page would just snap off the corner. The price in 1956...two dollars, the salvage price of the paper. The value to me was inestimable...I found the story of " The Mysterious Stranger"... it changed my life. I won't go into details...but I will say when I read that story...I finally felt like I wasn't alone...that someone else had felt and thought the same things I had. Fifty some years after I read that story I'm finally going to visit the heart of the feelings I found an answer to so many years ago. ** The Benares yearbook is finished..finally! Gosh, I went through printing it four times before I was finally satisfied...my complete respect for the coders in the world. I didn't have to write code...just follow directions..{exactly}...edit very long data note cards...{exactly}...miss a single "anything" and have to redo. I wouldn't not do it...it's a part of our community... it's more of my labour of love. ** So often Secondlife is super busy for me, but last evening I had a chance to chat with Angel for nearly an hour. Angels from Australia so at 5 pm Christmas day for her and just before bedtime Christmas eve for me... with the *real* world busy doing holiday {only 46,000 on line here} we were uninterrupted. Angel was my very first resident so long ago...and has had a *tempering in fire* here in Secondlife as well as real life. We talked about my upcoming trip and how world travel changes some of us while others only see themselves no matter where they are or where they look. This won't be my first venture out of the USA and while it will be my first trip to Asia, English is a common language in India. I learned long ago that anytime anyone speaks of something more than once...it's important to them...not hard to see this trip is important to me is it? :-) ** I wish I understood exactly what the *hook* is here in Secondlife...why some such as myself come and never want to leave, while others only stay awhile. I understand the people that come in world, look around for a day, a week, even a month and don't find what ever it was that I found. Maybe those that come and stay a year or so just never really find a passion such as I did...or real life pressures take over. We live today in such a throwaway world. Here's another thing that confounds me. To have a reasonably decent Secondlife experience no one here is living in a mud hut with a young child peddling a bicycle generator. Secondlife pretty well requires broadband, a halfway fast CPU and a good graphics card. Read money. I understand World of Warcraft charges a monthly fee as do other VRs, and yet how often do I hear about, "Hey...that 65 cents a day at Benares is just killing my budget, but so and so is offering me the same size place and a few more prims for 56 cents a day!...Sorry, I just have to take the deal." If you're new...{or even a couple years old if you're a slow learner}...the only way to have *enough* prims is to spend about 3000USD up front and another nearly 1000USD a month in tier. That outlay of money will buy you 45,000 prims and three regions........{and next year you may well be rationing yourself prims.} There ain't never too many! ** This past year has seen me become more of a part of the greater Secondlife community. I must say that's something I never envisioned...I know sometimes one has to be in a field or profession or group awhile before those that came before you recognize whether you are a part of any solution, you're just a sycophant, or you're a pain. I can't make a decision which of those categories I'm in for sure...but some I respect here at least chat with me. ** OK...today being Christmas Day I will go around to two of my friends houses and put in and appearance. Just because it's not a big thing for me...it's important for others...and a day that some families try to come together. ** Happy Holidays to all of my Judeo Christian friends and any others that find this time of year joyous! The end of a year is always a time of introspection for me... and a time to think about how to be a better person in the next part of my life. And so it goes Much joy and love to all, brinda Namaste

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Journey

Varanasi on the Ganges River at Morning Near the end of Life's Journey
What a Long Strange Trip It's Been
The burning ghats...my turn someday...
Is It Over, or Just Beginning Again
**
**
The passport photos are taken...The photos and passport are Fed-Ex ed to the Indian Consulate awaiting a visa...Capitol City Tours is waiting on my flight itinerary.
My journey will take me to the city of Varanasi (Benares), one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world dating from 1200 BCE. And someday I hope to go there once more.
Time now to think.
**
While I loved the machinama from the China sim a few days ago I must confess that I don't always understand all the lyrics in many songs...so I went and searched the original composer and lyricist.
Here are the words...I'm so struck by how these words make me feel.
And I wonder why.
**
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
**
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
**
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams I've had of dying are the best I've ever had
I find hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world
**
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
**
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me,what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
**
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world
Mad world
**
"Mad World" by
Gary Jules
**
And so it goes
I love you all, brinda
Namaste

Saturday, December 19, 2009

There Was a Boat


I'm never quite sure why some things seem to just grab my heart and hold it so tightly I almost can't breath.
Watching this makes me glad I'm as old as I am.
Please take the time to sit quietly and watch this machinama.  I hope it speaks to you as it does for me.

That post references... *The third place* {Wikipedia} ...The first place is our home, Second is our work place, and for me..Secondlife and Benares is my *Third place*.
I know it is for some of you. We have residents that exist in a sad place in real life...deaths in their familys at an early point in their lives. Others have lost homes they've worked for for so long.   And so many other stories that you don't share with me.
I try to keep in mind that I need to be kind because everyone is carrying a load that perhaps I couldn't handle.
And so it goes
Know that I love you all, brinda
Namaste

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Help?

Help Island 217...


If you are over about a year old in Secondlife you won't recognize these islands. These are the "new" Help Islands....

Those of us that came earlier, came to the first Orientation Islands. A place of basic tutorials that had to be completed before we could move on. Just really basic stuff...how to chat...walk...find your inventory or your yellow dot on map. {Stuff it took me 45 minutes to do in 2007 =^..^=}
Once we completed the tutorial we teleported to the old Help Islands. The set up was similar except since *building costs* have increased the new HIs no longer have a freebie store...just a billboard open air setup.



Island Center...
This is where one enters Secondlife now...One after another new comers drop into our world at this telehub...often just standing there totally baffled...until new people landing on top of them push them to one side. As helpless as brand new babies... one gets a sense of just how confusing Secondlife can be at first.

The Answers?...

OK... now to the details I wanted to get to in this post. The above sign is just off screen to the right in the second picture above...this is all the help and information new people get today.

To give one an idea of how many people enter Secondlife...At any given minute there are approximately 100 new residents on the 40 HIs.  Avatar limits seem to be set at no more than 13...I'm guessing the HIs are *homestead* regions. Low avatar limit and 3750 prims would indicate 4 sims per server...and that does work well.

Linden Lab understands infrastructure well as far as the HIs go. The problem is trying to have people click a help board for answers that they don't have questions for.
A really well done piece on exactly what's important for the newest residents can be found in Blue Szondis comments on my post *Sadness Personified* dated December 11th. She mentions things like understanding how to use our camera to see...{easy now..remember when?}

OK... in no particular order...how stuff works {or doesn't maybe}.

The Secondlife Mentors are gone...some say good riddance...I say the help they gave was priceless. Was that program as well run as I think it should have been..no!
The program was allowed to get too big...with just one or two Lindens to oversee over 3000 mentors one can see it ended up with the inmates running the asylum. Will a program similar be reinstated? Maybe...but not soon....Linden Lab seems to be just another corporation that will never admit to screwing up. What I see as working well would be a limited number of *mentors/helpers* specifically helping on the HIs. You want to have a tag that sets you apart?... fine. To retain that tag one would have to agree to spend a given time every log in mentoring at an HI. Should be easy to code a way to have the person involved to just *touch* a designated prim on arrival and departing..or easier..{I'm certainly over my head there}

The new Gateways...poorly disguised rare meat thrown to so many of a chosen few. A small area for new arrivals...just looks like a way to funnel new people into a marketing situation. Looking at the group chat I get from one of these gateways...no way in the world can they handle the incoming new resident load.

Lastly...perhaps a rather grassroots move to using alts on the HIs could work. The downside to that is there would be a lack of the ability to watch for predation. A concern for me is that eventually the HIs will be closed to avatars with a rezz date older than "X". Then the chance for them to hear and see another person tell them, "Hello, I'm glad you're here..Welcome to secondlife." will be gone.

Like so much in any life...It's so easy to postulate cures for perceived problems when one can't see all the ramifications of the *cures*.

I just feel that I want more of the 90% that don't stay in Secondlife to get to feel what I feel here.
And so it goes
Love always, brinda
Namaste

Monday, December 14, 2009

Relationships

Profile from a Secondlife Resident
A friend of mine suggested I search for this profile recently... and I've had a couple of days to think about it now.
You see, I know this avatar. I say avatar not person, because after meeting this avatar as a newcomer to Secondlife and spending some time around them in world... I knew that I had only learned a very few things about them.
This avatar is intelligent (very)... they were fun to be around... they tended to be manipulative... they were certainly generous to me.
They were also secretive (that's not always bad!)... and near the end of my business/friendship I can say very stubborn.
Now most if not all of these traits can be a road map to success in both worlds we *live* in.
You know, the fun things are so easy to write about... the words flow easily... I never have to deal with my own feelings other than those feelings of joy or perceived accomplishment.
Let me go back to mid 2007 when I had been in Secondlife just a few months. After finally figuring out my hair/hat {no laughing..only took three weeks!} I went and found an island parcel I wanted. Next came a custom house and all the high prim high dollar furniture I thought I needed...{and then more and more land/prims }... and then? Yes, like many others I wanted to share this wondrous life with another. Secondlife has a few things about it that aren't true in real life. One is time compression...stay a year or so and look back. Another is how our feelings seem to work... lets call it feeling compression for lack of a better term. Feelings of love, care, compassion are magnified... I'm not educated well enough in that field to explain why... but I've seen it in both myself, and so many others. I've seen people give their hearts to another here only to find that the other wasn't what they purported to be. I've seen real life marriages fail because the partner involved in Secondlife made the commitment to the Secondlife relationship the primary relationship. There have been times I've counseled people to not establish real world contacts to further the role play that they find so intriguing here. There are documented situations of serious real life dangers in some of these contacts... never mind the emotional damage that seems to stalk almost everyone that pursues romantic interests. When I read the profile above I am saddened... while that avatar and I did not part as friends, I certainly take no pleasure in seeing that text. I won't slap my leg and say to myself ..."Damn it, I told them so...I told them that would happen!". I'm human, and have quite a temper... but give me a few days to work on almost anything and I almost always manage to do and perhaps think the right thing. Today I sometimes wonder what I would do if Riggly ever returned in world. I suspect I would greet her with a hug and a kiss for old times sake... and follow my own advice. Advice is so easy to give... and usually worth just what one pays for it...but here's mine, and yes it's free. Please don't let me read your profile someday and have it look like the one above. Today I do have loving relationships in Secondlife...I have a very few that I know some of their real lives...some of their real life problems. I have none that I think I'm romantically *in love* with. And so it goes My love to all, brinda Namaste

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Benares...Looking at Us

Benares Looking East from offshore at the Northwest side

Sunrise...

Sabre is Remodeling...
Kiki Has Rejoined us... Her New Place...
Sophie Has Joined Us on the East Region!...
A little good news....
We are so blessed with continuing to see people coming to stay at Benares.
I have to believe that we really are doing something right...
It's just under forty days short of two years since Lala and I set the first tree here. This place has given me some pain...and so much joy. When I read the comments from residents telling me that if they hadn't found Benares they doubt they would have remained in Secondlife...I want to yell YES!...and all that happens is I choke up.
Seeing new people come to build...watching some remodel...just watching the Amber and Couchmans spending precious time in their place...these are the things that give me great joy.
I want this world we have to never end... I am in good health, and I'm committed to continuing Benares. This is a dream I never dreamed was possible... thank you all for believing.
And so it goes
My love always, brinda
Namaste

Sadness Personified

Blue wasn't a mentor that I had a chance to work with. I took this screen shot from Help Island 217 just as Linden Lab started the Secondlife Mentor ejection process... her pose says so much... There are many who insist that the mentor program was corrupt...and some undoubtedly were. I did see a couple instances of questionable behavior over the years...but by and large, those mentors I had contact with were those I saw at the Help Islands. If you've ever spent more than a little time trying to show a nooblet pretty much anything... you quickly understand that it's not a glamorous calling, and seldom gives instant reward or recognition. The mentors like Blue weren't there to just *wear the tag* they made a difference. Personally, it's my passion, and a payment to those that helped me. Yesterday early was a powerful time...the HIs had a lot of mentors. In case you've forgotten, except for Lindens {and until yesterday SL Mentors} Once you left the HIs you could never return. I suppose one could postulate that if many many more mentors had spent more time volunteering on those islands perhaps the retention rate for new residents to Secondlife would have been higher, and that the mentors would have been viewed differently. I mentioned the time was powerful... So often in any life or time we never miss places, things, or ideas until they're no longer there. Along with so many sad looks * :-( * , yesterday I saw a renewed passion from so many... some insist they will remain until they are removed... others will start another account and alt. It's easier to volunteer I think when one is new and so grateful... you wish everyone could share your new found passion for this second life. A few weeks or months later many of us get very involved in other passions and there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in any life we have. I hope that's never my case. Thank You to all the mentors that have helped me, supported me, written notes to Lindens about me, and most of all...remained my friends. We ain't done yet! And so it goes I love you all, brinda Namaste

Friday, December 11, 2009

Potpourri @ Benares & The Loss of the SL Mentors

These are the ones I met that made a difference... More below. My apologies for the lack of posts this past week...I've just been a little overwhelmed. Before I get into my tale of woe take a moment to look at the recent post from Crap Mariner... **http://firstlife.isfullofcrap.com/** Future Fossil Fuel So often this guy hits me exactly where I live...I too saw all those in Secondlife that were three years old as true ancients. I just knew they had all the secrets...{some did!}...and that they were wise beyond any comprehension I would ever achieve. Crap mentions wisdom early in his post and I do believe I've accumulated just a tiny bit of that...{it would be a shame to think I've lived so hard for 67 years and not}. I understand the difference between wisdom and knowledge...I always had a head full of *stuff*...but wise I wasn't. My week has seen a couple of eight to ten hour days here in world working on the Benares yearbook. Being obsessive/compulsive I've spent a lot more time this year on the book than last...last years book was much too long and rather poorly done. More of that lack of knowledge thing. Along with that were the usual things that go along with running the estate...{sometimes I just get flat lucky...hiring Bubbles was one of my better moves}. Bubbles watching over tier boxes saves me time and money...as well as saves our residents confusion. I moved one resident from West to East... had to catch another and have them turn on scripts so tier box would run... terraform a parcel...get resident pictures for the book... That's why I *hid* status for a couple days... I've not seen Desire or Barbara in world for longer than I expected...holiday preparations? The reality of my projected trip to India is just starting to take hold...it's one thing to read about things and fantasize..it's quite another to actually sit down and make phone calls. And while I tend to whine a bit...I had some wonderful times as well. Kattie came home real life from a trip north and we had a chance to chat...yes, it's still text on a screen...but here in Secondlife it's different =^..^= I met Sophie and she's looking like another person that will just explode by me in skills... I think she may well join us here. Gigi stopped by for a few...always a joy to see my Turk! Andor sent me an all too brief but warm IM as well as pictures for book. Prokofy IMed me to go to Ross and test out his new bulletin board...and while there, I met Piper and had a chance to help her out with some clothes, hair, skin etc. She and I came back to Benares and she TPed her real life sister Stephanie to join us. I'm blessed with having people I can share both the great things that happen here as well as those things I sometimes agonize over...such a gift... Many of you know one of my greatest passions is helping new people...the way things are going...I may be more usefull than before. Even though the Secondlife Mentors for the most part didn't spend much time at the Help Islands...there were a few that worked with those new people only minutes old...the ones that really needed someone to say, "Welcome...we are glad you're here". The names in the list at the top of this post are the mentors I worked with over the years... They didn't just wear the tag...they did the work. Today is the last day for that program...the Secondlife Mentors group will cease to exist effective today :-( All is impermanent And so it goes My love to you all, brinda Namaste

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Balancing on the Edge

Always a balancing Act A great deal of my thinking now comes in those small hours in the morning. A time of often pleasantly deafening silence... These last few days have had me thinking about my lives... notice the plural. How often do we in Secondlife explain to nooblets that Secondlife isn't a game...but truly a second life. A life populated by {mostly} real people... people with dreams and goals. The goals are sometimes goals that I find uncomfortable... but thats a wondrous thing in Secondlife... it isn't *one size fits all*. My real life isn't that complicated... looking at bank balances trying to determine when I want to see about doing all the details for going to India in a couple months... does Cinnamon have enough cat food to last the week?... should I go wash the car? Interestingly enough, Secondlife often seems to get a lot more complicated. And I'm wondering if it's because often I care more about the people here... and if that's the case...why? Keep in mind that I understand a lot about me...I once read that a measure of my mental health involved knowing exactly where I stand in the universe... and I think I've a good view of that. Here in Secondlife I push no fantasies on others...as I posted on Monday, estate owners have virtually unlimited powers over our land use... I've only exercised the power to remove a resident once. That removal was done because I saw it in the best interest of Benares... and while I never have to return tier...I did then. I returned it because a measure of ethics is doing the right thing. From the first weeks I came to Secondlife I've tried to help everyone I could... I know I've always done *the right thing* here... and that's something I can't say in the life that is concerned with India, cat food, or car washing. Residents occasionally come to me with requests, ideas, problems, any number of things. I know that I either solve the problem, answer the question, or darn sure find someone that can. In some of those situations, some may see my decisions as neither smart nor wise... and while it may surprise those that view me as arrogant or rigid, I often seek counsel. I listen to that counsel. Sometimes I agree. Sometimes I don't. Without being arrogant, or rigid...If there are those that don't like my choices...please think about this. My goal is to provide the best experience residentially I can in Secondlife... I need your help in doing that. But finally is this. The bottom line is...the bottom line. Whether my decisions are right or wrong...they're mine...and I write the check every month. And so it goes My love to you all, brinda Namaste

Monday, December 7, 2009

Socializing vs Privacy

A shift today to something that I spent a lot of time thinking about much of last night. Secondlife is a social platform...while I could choose to buy an island, set up a house or not, landscape or not...and leave the rest of the land empty...I don't think that would work. For me. The thing is...I have found a couple of islands that were set up just like that. Perhaps the owner hadn't found other residents yet. Obviously, since I was allowed there...public access was allowed. For those that don't know...an estate owner has total control over the estate. We can close the area to all but Lindens if that's our choice. As I've spoken many times...Benares is a labour of love. I chose to allow public access...I decided how I wanted the basic terraforming to look...I found a covenent from a former estate that included most of what the Benares covenent says. I didn't want this island to be a place where someone could own a parcel but not be free to walk along our beach...to own a parcel and have to teleport in because the neighbors didn't allow passage. I wanted so much to form a community. It has taken time...a lot of time. It has taken money...a lot of money. Often when I see people say that our tier is too high...that they can get a better deal at *X*...I sit stunned. A 2048 parcel at Benares is just about .65 cents a day...my tier is over $16 dollars a day. I say that not to whine but as a statement of fact, remember this is my love. The main island is...and always will be...a place where a security orb will protect your privacy in your house...but not our beaches. I want every one to be able walk along the water...to wander up on the mesa...to be able to stand in my public room and watch the sunset over the west region. The water homesteads are different. We have a variety of people using those very private islands. Some are gregarious...ready at any moment to socialize...often to socialize with people they moved to Benares with. We have other people that want to come *home* to their private place and not socialize. I'm sure there are as many reasons to do anything as there are people. Recently I had a resident abandon her land a couple weeks early. This resident owns part of an estate in another region...she came here to have a private place to just sit and do nothing...to sit and listen to music...whatever. While she didn't spell out her reason for leaving directly to me, I think I know. She thought she was all alone and when she was startled by a sudden visitor, it just freaked her out. She was one of a few on the homesteads to put up ban lines. Another put up lines after some hateful experiences in other regions followed her home. I've thought about this situation for quite a few days now...and have reached a decision. I'm going to amend the Benares covenent to allow ban lines on the homesteads. Those parcel bans don't interfere with other residents ability to enjoy what we have...or my original goal of allowing all to particpate if they so choose. I have a goal of community...and that is important to me...but thats my goal. I don't have the right to try and force my goal on others...without all of you, I don't need all this land and can't afford it. My decisions over the last two years have been to do the best for every one I can. I see this as another chance to do that. And so it goes I love you all, brinda Namaste

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Feeling...Something...Anything

Sometimes...
Joy...
Free...
Peace...
Innocence...
I want to know why the world is...why I live here...where I'm going next.
The thing is, if I learn those things...I will automatically start getting miracles...or what could be perceived as miracles. If I learn what the magician knows, it's not magic anymore.
You see...I believe we already know the answers to all questions...We've forgotten that we know. Maybe it's boring to live eternally and to not see the miracles inherent in these pictures.
Sometimes in those quiet dark moments at three am... Do I really want to know?
May each of you find your answers
And so it goes
Much love always, brinda
Namaste

Friday, December 4, 2009

Friends...Old and New...

Jackie and Rick...Love finds a way always... Picture credit...Harley Blum
Wonderful Announcement!!!!
Jackie and Rick!
I met them while doing random exploration some weeks ago and almost immediately offered friendship...certainly not my usual response to meeting new people.
This couple were so obviously in love it transcended our physical distance...rarely do new people engender such warmth upon first meeting.
Jackie graciously sent me the above wedding invitation last evening....Having survived two marriages of my own...I rarely attend these events, but this one I will do...genuinely happy that two wonderful people found love here.
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Visitors...................Old and New...
Tiny Visitors...{added me for scale} =^..^= yes, I'm siting on a prim...they're knee high
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I've chatted about Bubbles before...gosh the name certainly fits. Now Bubbles I see almost everyday...{sometimes I end up in bed before she logs on...Bubbles lives nine time zones east of me}...But Xtine I hadn't seen in months. Real life had occupied her time...she logged on and since *home* was set at Benares I had a chance to reacquaint. Fun!
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More good news! I heard from my friend Gabby last eve as well...
Gabby too has found love in Secondlife...I'm pleased. She told me shes back into building again, She showed a lot of talent in building early on.
Just recently I found the picture I had taken of Gabby the day we met at a Welcome area a long time ago.
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Thankfully Poly did show me how to hide here....not to be sneaky...but to be able to do some things that require me to really concentrate.
Last years Benares yearbook took a couple weeks to do...not because it's that hard I think...but because the tool was a little dull :-).
So if it's really important...you might find me up about 4000 meters over my front yard...{if it's not REALLY IMPORTANT...rest assured I'll yell... lmao!} (as if that did any good) :-)
I do want to get our Benares Memories 2009 out in the next week...let's hope.
BTW..there's a message board on the front steps of my house...leave me a message...I do check!
OK, That's all I can think of today that's appropriate to comment on.
And so it goes
I love you all, brinda
Namaste

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

New Configurations...Old Things Changing

Andors Boat, Treasure Chest, and a Special Memento... I can't tell you how I felt yesterday when I logged on and found both a note from Andor...as well as his boat and chest. You see, from the day Andy moved from mainside's West shore to our East homestead parcel, the boat was always here. The parcel would be redone every so often, but the boat remained...it always felt..... *right*. In the chest is something that Andy got when he first came to Secondlife...I've been chosen to be the caretaker 'till the day he returns. Many times I've spoken to how early memories here in Secondlife are so important...at least to me. {I know, I'm a sentimentalist=^..^=} To be trusted with someones early objects/memories is truly special. Andy...thank you. **********
Ronin Has Done Fantastic Things at The Far SouthEast Corner of our World here... Benares is constantly blessed with artistically talented people...When Ronin bought this corner parcel and asked to have it terraformed from a simple flat parcel to what you see here...I had a good feeling that the parcel was going to end up nicely done.
Now...music is always such a personal thing, but the rather peaceful piano media playing seems just perfect!
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Fruks Has Decided to Move to the Parcel Andor Did so Much With...
Of all the people in Secondlife...I doubt any choice to end up with Andors place could improve on Fruks...
Over the past months before she moved here, I've seen her as a frequent visitor on the east homesteads. More artistic talent...
Sometimes I look at the differences between our East and West regions...neither is "better"... just different.
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Couple things going on with both me...{surprise surprise:-)}....
And Secondlife...
Second one first...
Sadly there is hate in any world and those that hate I will not tolerate at our home.
I'm always talking about Benares has either myself or managers in world for many of the twenty four hours. {I'll post management names in a list at the end of this post}
Recently a manager told me that she had estate banned a few names because they had griefed one of our residents. Any of you have problems...it's in our land covenant... you parcel ban and contact us...one of us will estate ban.
Along those lines...
Just to clarify the Benares position on Ban lines.
Ban lines on mainside are not allowed...If you want to control access to your house...{I do lol} Security Orbs are suggested as long as you leave people access to walk along the water edge of your land. Any questions or for help...Talk to one of us.
Out on the private islands...I see no harm with parcel ban. Your ban lines don't interfere with recreational water use, or movement.
Me....
Goodtimes over Thanksgiving as well as times that were just a part of life.
I took the opportunity to travel from San Diego to Tucson AZ. to spend a little time with my Mother...the two of us are all thats left of our family...I'm 67 and Moms 87. {I know..no ones that old!}
Goodpart...
Mom is still alive...I had people here to be sure that the residents didn't have *stuff* happen that caused problems...I got a chance to read "The Making of Secondlife" and "I Avatar"...I had the chance to *drive*. {Many here know I used to spend a lot of time on the highway}.
Other part...
Moms is still alive...She talks to me about me...There is a good part of Alzheimers...(you can stay three days and tell them its been week and a half...Someday many of you will really understand that part).
Years ago pretty much everything that happened to me was *your* fault...
Today all of what goes on in my life is my doing...and it's not *fault*...
Benares Managers:
Ling Hotshot...Usually available from 5:30 am SLT for an hour or so..returning in early evening till approx. 9pm.
Polyhistor Serpente...7/8pm SLT 'till often 3/4am next day.
My self..I'm in and out much of the time between the other two.
And so it goes
My love to you all, brinda
Namaste

Monday, November 30, 2009

Gone...not Forgotten

Andors Rowboat...well Almost...
A Rose for a Friend...
Each of us must find our own way in any world....
I had the privilege to have Andor in my life for quite awhile...Actually as Secondlife seems to compress time...Andor was in my life for a long time.
Last week, just before I took a couple days off...He left Benares to chase his dream...
His rowboat was left at the edge of his parcel...and in another of my *finer* moments, I didn't get a picture of it.
Last evening upon my return it was missing...thus this poorly done substitute...
I want to believe it's the thought that counts.
{Andy...if you still honour me by reading this blog...maybe slip in and set your old boat where you kept it?} I really want a picture of the real thing.
If you set it to Benares group I'll be able to move it if I ever decide to sell that parcel.
And so it goes
As always...my love to you all, brinda
Namaste

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Explore Secondlife History

Explorer Magellin Linden "Discovered" *The Moth Temple*

The Remains of Magellin's Airship

Oil Rig on The Tug Boat Route
Set Midnite...You Will See Where Our Prims Are Made
Fun stuff...The Magellin Linden Exploration was the *excuse* for opening the Northern Continent some years ago...Thanks to Emerald derendering I was able to remove a few builds to kinda give an original feel to the picture.
Among Magellin's discoveries was The Moth Temple...ruins left behind by the Moth Worshipers...today it's the Iris Info hub.
The Oil Platform is one of just a very few Linden builds {best viewed at midnite}...you can see prims sliding down a chute for shipment to inventory secondlife =^..^= This is a location where Phillip Linden occasionally held in world meetings....wait a few minutes and catch a ride on the tug boat that travels across three ocean sims. {If you do ride...sit...don't stand up....you'll have a tough time resitting}..(voice of experience!). Moth Temple...Great day or night...Iris 202,138,30. Magellin Linden crash site...Columbia 170,110,29 Oil Platform...ANWR 105,170,40 And so it goes History that's fun! My Love always, brinda Namaste

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Seasons...Reasons...Lifetimes

Flors Place... East Shore Mainside
A Great View Out Over The East Basin...And a Wonderful Place to share a Cup of Tea
The Title of This Post..courtesy of Breye
Many thanks to Breye for the above notecard.
I've been reading that note for a couple days now...and the longer I look at what it says...the less sure I am of why I'm in any ones life...or they in mine.
I sat on the roof of Flor's house last evening...sharing good conversation and hot tea.
If you haven't met Flor...please do take a moment if you see her at home to drop in and say hello. During our chat last evening Flor said something I've heard a few times before...thats that if she hadn't found Benares and our people... She wouldn't have stayed in Secondlife.
Does that please me...of course. Do I believe her...yes. Do I believe it's justified...I hope so.
I heard that statement again just this morning from a friend in her Email to me.
Those of you that know me know that Benares is labour of love...I hope a refuge of both serenity and fun...and while it was my dream...I have had so much help since I established this place.
My goal has remained the same from day one...there have been a few changes...some I know have improved us...and some I hope have.
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Odds and ends....
Last evening Callme and Ronin moved to a larger parcel....{there's always a prim battle lol}. While Poly was terraforming for them I see Andor rowing his boat around the sim with Callme along for the ride...it's things such as that that let me believe that this community thing we have is the answer to the vast emptiness of Secondlife.
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Under the heading of stuff I don't get...
I'm led to believe that there's a way of *griefing* going on in Secondlife that disturbs me. Actually all griefing disturbs me...but this causes financial loss...and as I've said before...I can understand organized crime and their contract murders {not condone...understand}.
"Nothing personal...just business".
This griefing involves sending false Abuse Reports...not just one, but having a group of people or their alts conspire to falsely accuse someone of almost anything in order to get them suspended for a period of time. Is it jealousy? Random meaness? I don't get it.
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I want to start posting interesting places here as well as "news" {read gentle gossip =^..^=}..So if anyone finds places that speak to them, or certainly historical places...please let me know. It seems the apparent *time compression* in Secondlife makes things of just a few months or a year ago seem so much longer. And, like the beanstalk of Stellar Sunshine...I think it's perhaps important to document this life.
And so it goes
My love always, brinda
Namaste

Monday, November 23, 2009

Secondlife History-Stellar Sunshine

I just finished reading "The Making Of Secondlife" by Wagner James Au...nee Hamlet Linden.
{Well he was a Linden for a few months in early 2003.}
Au was commissioned to document the early days of Secondlife..first as an insider, a Linden, and then as *one of us*. As some of you know...my total immersion in Secondlife leads me toward learning the history of this platform.
Au's book has some wonderful insights...among these is the story of Stellar Sunshine.
Stellar was the very first resident...rezzed as you see almost a full year before Secondlife was open to the public...the original Beta user. That first evening, when the Lindens logged off, they left Stellar on alone. The next morning the staff logged on to see a cabin with smoke rising from the chimney and a giant beanstalk next to it. The Southern California mother of four small children had created the first resident build in Secondlife.
While the cabin is long gone...and the land has changed...the beanstalk is still there.
Stellars original *game* was/is to climb the beanstalk by jumping from leaf to leaf.
I couldnt find Stellar in people search...I did search *bean stalk* {two words} and found both the landmark as well as her old profile. I have an idea that Stellar may well no longer be in world...but ever hoping..I did leave an IM=^..^=
If you're a fan of Secondlife history..go take a look.
I'm amazed at what she did with zero experience.
In the coming day or so I intend to read, "I Avatar"...a look at the culture and consequences of having a second life.
I know, I know, I have way too much spare time :-)
And so it goes
My love to all, brinda
Namaste