"Listen with an open mind, but don't try to remember this stuff. There's no quiz at the end." Jack Kornfield

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

One Hundred & Forty Characters

Most often, the title of a post comes to me as the post unfolds. This one is, for some reason, different...and I've no clue why. The base topic is something that's been running around in my head for weeks, maybe months............. That's not true...this thought has been with me since mid 2007.

I suppose I may finally have enough information to process it now.....Virtual world relationships. Yes, some of these are pixel sex intimate...some are intimate in a deep friendship way...some are adversarial, some of us have a "relationship" with Secondlife.... all can be described as relationships.

One hundred forty characters. Twitter. (Cell text at one hundred sixty).

It seems that so much of our informational lives today comes in very small "bytes "... One or two short sentences. How could our feelings be said in short bursts?

I recently found a very comprehensive article on relationships written by Josue Habana, it was complete and it wasn't one hundred forty characters. His article covers some of the things that have gone on in his life in recent years, and some of these things can apply to us all.

It would seem to be impossible to generalize about Secondlife relationships but one of the common things is how often the participates are young in virtual worlds. Not always though...I met a woman today that told me she has been "married" four times in Secondlife................since January 2007!

I have believed for some years now that perhaps the biggest problem with any relationship here is the lack of visual clues...we miss those telling moments when things just don't "look" right.

A good friend of mine has had to struggle with some of that these last few days. Often when things aren't working out comes the guilt trips (don't you feel sorry for how I, "Gave you my heart") etc.

Then comes the anger when they start stalking...hanging just outside your parcel... and often resorting to griefing or false abuse reports.

Estates are wonderful, my kids come to me with stories like that.... First I suggest they mute the idiots and then I estate ban said idiots.

The other way relationships are sometimes a problem is represented by a another close friend of mine. This girl is one that I met when I was mentoring on the old help Islands... she ended up coming to Benares, met people that became close friends, and developed a special relationship with a slightly older person that took great interest in her.

No matter how long you've been in Secondlife I think there is always that special place for those that come to Secondlife with you..or become one of your first friends. For various real life reasons my friend ended up moving to a place where cable internet wasn't an option...and so took a "sabbatical" from Secondlife for a few months. Upon her return she found that her slightly older friend had moved on in Secondlife. While that was something she could accept....what she did have a problem with was when her friend returned as and alt and with virtualy no explanation just reportedly said. "Hello, just passing by...I no longer hang out here...see ya!"

One Hundred and Forty Characters? {There were a couple of other details concerning rl identity stuff}...but the part that bothered my friend was the seeming "announcement for shock value" and pooof! What had happened to a year of friendship, of closeness, of the intimacy that comes with deep friendship?......... One hundred and forty characters?

For me this world is as real as the one I wake up in everyday... my friends here are as genuine as any I've ever had and the pain I feel when I lose a friend here is just as real as any anywhere.

I will continue to try and live an ethical all worlds...I think it's important.

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda



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