Tyler, I wish I could have made a difference...

******************************Where we come from****************************** ********************************************************************** Why did Tyler Clementi die? - http://bit.ly/8X7vUq

There is so much I will never understand......such callousness from children so young.

Yes, at 18 years old we are technically adults... but it takes some of us a very long time to perhaps understand that just because something can be done...doesn't mean it should be done.

Tyler you will be missed by your parents for forever....The rest of us will forget all too soon.

I can only hope that someday those that were so callous will remember you... and that the enormity of their actions will become clear when their own children are born.

The video below speaks to my heart....

I wish I could forgive them.... maybe in awhile... For what it's worth, I can't forgive just yet...

I still have so far to go

And so it goes

Today, I wish I could love all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

One Hundred & Forty Characters

Most often, the title of a post comes to me as the post unfolds. This one is, for some reason, different...and I've no clue why. The base topic is something that's been running around in my head for weeks, maybe months............. That's not true...this thought has been with me since mid 2007.

I suppose I may finally have enough information to process it now.....Virtual world relationships. Yes, some of these are pixel sex intimate...some are intimate in a deep friendship way...some are adversarial, some of us have a "relationship" with Secondlife.... all can be described as relationships.

One hundred forty characters. Twitter. (Cell text at one hundred sixty).

It seems that so much of our informational lives today comes in very small "bytes "... One or two short sentences. How could our feelings be said in short bursts?

I recently found a very comprehensive article on relationships written by Josue Habana, it was complete and it wasn't one hundred forty characters. His article covers some of the things that have gone on in his life in recent years, and some of these things can apply to us all.

It would seem to be impossible to generalize about Secondlife relationships but one of the common things is how often the participates are young in virtual worlds. Not always though...I met a woman today that told me she has been "married" four times in Secondlife................since January 2007!

I have believed for some years now that perhaps the biggest problem with any relationship here is the lack of visual clues...we miss those telling moments when things just don't "look" right.

A good friend of mine has had to struggle with some of that these last few days. Often when things aren't working out comes the guilt trips (don't you feel sorry for how I, "Gave you my heart") etc.

Then comes the anger when they start stalking...hanging just outside your parcel... and often resorting to griefing or false abuse reports.

Estates are wonderful, my kids come to me with stories like that.... First I suggest they mute the idiots and then I estate ban said idiots.

The other way relationships are sometimes a problem is represented by a another close friend of mine. This girl is one that I met when I was mentoring on the old help Islands... she ended up coming to Benares, met people that became close friends, and developed a special relationship with a slightly older person that took great interest in her.

No matter how long you've been in Secondlife I think there is always that special place for those that come to Secondlife with you..or become one of your first friends. For various real life reasons my friend ended up moving to a place where cable internet wasn't an option...and so took a "sabbatical" from Secondlife for a few months. Upon her return she found that her slightly older friend had moved on in Secondlife. While that was something she could accept....what she did have a problem with was when her friend returned as and alt and with virtualy no explanation just reportedly said. "Hello, just passing by...I no longer hang out here...see ya!"

One Hundred and Forty Characters? {There were a couple of other details concerning rl identity stuff}...but the part that bothered my friend was the seeming "announcement for shock value" and pooof! What had happened to a year of friendship, of closeness, of the intimacy that comes with deep friendship?......... One hundred and forty characters?

For me this world is as real as the one I wake up in everyday... my friends here are as genuine as any I've ever had and the pain I feel when I lose a friend here is just as real as any anywhere.

I will continue to try and live an ethical life...in all worlds...I think it's important.

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda

Namste

नमस्ते

A Thank You to so many...

******************** Where we come from ****************************************************************************************** This past week has been one of many shades of emotion for me, assuming emotions come in shades.

We lost a great guy this week***

I had people return to Secondlife after being absent much too long***

I've had a chance to offer a bit of the experience that sometimes comes with age to a much younger friend***

10,000 people have looked at this blog!...I have asked and I know who this visitor was, but it's their story to tell if they choose***

There was a chance to grow a little bit myself yesterday***

******************************************************************

Adric is only gone from this current incarnation...I hope those of you that share a different religious philosophy from mine will accept that that's what I believe.

A dear friend that is young enough to be my grand daughter has been struggling with inter personal relationships here... those can be difficult enough in real life and perhaps even more difficult here because of the lack of visual clues when interacting with another. I hope any input I gave was couched in love and experience.

During the past week I had Laurali re-enter my life, Andor slipped in for a peek, and Jakob suddenly popped into view in my yard. When people leave our lives, be it for a period of this lifetime or for eternity, it leaves a vacant space... a space that will heal over... but we always know that they are gone. ******

My closest friends in all worlds understand that while I may put on a great front... social situations are not easily undertaken... but as with many things, just moving past my feelings and actually doing those things that I'm not comfortable with is the key to learning how to get comfortable. The party at Benares is a great example... the tremendous positive feedback I received from so many both during and after the event let me relax and enjoy the show.

A thank you to all that attended... all the music in the world wouldn't be entertainment if it were experienced in a vacuum.

I want to give a very special shout out to those that made it work...

Porter Paquot... I've said before, all of us can sing...most of us shouldn't. Porter is one that can truly sing and entertain, listening to her and actually listening to how she takes a song and grows with it and makes it her own is something.

Hexxie and Madame...The Born Again Pagans, just sitting down and jamming... making all of us feel that we are sitting there in Amsterdam at the magic studios "being". I first heard them at soror's tier party some weeks ago and knew I had to hear them again.

There will be images available of the party... Breye has sent me some that I haven't looked at yet, and I know Gramps was taking images as well. I'll let you kno when and who!

If you were there... the reason it all went so perfectly was loegan Magic, the owner of the Kasbah and Speakeasy live music venues in Secondlife. I had discussed with Porter about suggestions for putting on this event and she mentioned loegan. It goes back to something I learned so many years ago...any time some one does something for a living....there's a trick to it or we would all do it.******

******************** Visitor number 10,000 ****************** This is a result of a few things... first among those things are those of you that log in and visit this page.

I just looked, according to this page there were 50 million blogs in July 2006, and I know some get tens of thousands of visitors everyday... I will certainly never have that much to say. That I say anything about myself or Secondlife that so many of you are interested in is something I would never have believed 14 months ago.

I try to write something every other day.... and I hope I write about things that are relevant in our lives...not just word clutter.

And so it goes

I love you all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

This is Just a Visit...Enjoy it

*************************Where we come from************************ I awoke early this morning thinking about how ephemeral any life is.

I've learned few things really well in life... I guess that's why I try to study life so completely. One of the life lessons I have learned is that I don't have to know "how" I know things...I need to know "when" I know things.

Something was very different this morning... First I awoke thinking about a purported conversation Lord Buddha had with three monks. He asked the monks how often they thought about death....

One said he thought about death every day, "Not enough", was the reply.

The second said with every bite of food, "Not enough"...

The third said he thought about death with every breath in and every breath out, "Perfect".

I don't intend for this post to be negative or a downer... this is about life, great glorious life!

After I logged in to Twitter I saw we had lost Adric Antfarm http://www.adric.us/.

I saw again in my life that sometimes I guess I feel things. I don't pretend to think that I "knew" his moment of death because I didn't...it's just that a couple of days ago I started thinking about all of our lives.

In this past week I have had several people return to my life. People that I didn't think had necessarily passed on.... just that our paths had separated in such a way that we would no longer meet in this life. My personal belief is that I keep doing these lives until I get it right... and just as I don't remember my hour of birth... I don't remember my last death.

If we stop and think about it...with in excess of five billion people in the world the chances of meeting any single person are very low. I feel such privilege at being able to live with the technology of today, I can log on to Secondlife and instantly connect, often in an intimate fashion, with those of you that if nothing else I financially couldn't afford to visit.

I wrote a few days ago that Laurali had returned to not only Secondlife, but Benares as well. Andor has returned to Secondlife recently... actually he came to the Islands last evening to look at Barbara's architectural efforts on the West homestead, Andy didn't stop and chat...and I can perhaps imagine why. Leaving any life or place we love can be to some degree painful or we wouldn't be human. I've recently seen Jakob on line..I did send an IM...no response is just that, no response. There are any number of reasons for that, none of which are personal.

I recently read something from Jack Kornfield about how I need to, "Listen with an open mind, but don't try to remember this stuff. There's no quiz at the end."

That's hard for me...I thirst for knowledge... I might be better served in just listening to all of your hearts.

And so it goes

Adric I know you can hear us, we miss you.

My love to you, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

This is a Wonderful Life

**** Where we come from; Nagano, Japan & Guarante Do Norte, Brasil ****

This is a wonderful life.

Last night after I logged off and started thinking about what had happened and what I had experienced here in Secondlife during the latest loggin I saw ever more clearly just how wonderful this virtual world has been to me and for me. Keep in mind that at 68 in my other "real life" world I am, in most cases invisible, that's just a fact of life that we will all experience as we age. In Secondlife I exist as ageless, I am loved, respected by many, and sometimes listened to... All of that was certainly clear last evening.

At loggin I saw several old IMs that needed an answer, a group notice that Porter Paquot was performing, I got and IM from Laurali who I had not heard from in a few months, a few "Hi's", plus someone TPed in to chat. We both TPed to where Porter was singing and a bit later I found myself holding multiple IM conversations, current chats, listening to the music, and welcoming a couple of nooblets that wandered in. Never mind the technology...that was more human interaction than I had experienced all day...this virtual world helps keep me experiencing life at a level I had never dreamed possible.

******Below is Laurali, my other SL daughter....looking at her rezz date last eve (610 days), She is now as SL old as I was when we met on one of the old Help Islands. Twenty months is a lot longer in Secondlife than the number would seem to indicate. Lauri has had real life stuff going on...ended up moving to Canada's maritime coast where the only Internet connection was dial up and so was missing from my family for way too long. She's back in Ontario now and I'm so thrilled she is home again at Benares. ******

While Laurali and I were reminiscing over those that had moved on at Benares I got an IM from Barbara, so Lauri and I TPed out to see her and the new build she's started.

The trip was a touch bittersweet for Laurali...Barbara now owns the parcel previously held by Lauri...Lauri was the very first land owner on the West sim.****** Barbara below, sans her sunglasses =^..^=

Barbara is from Berlin and a student of architecture....It shows as the three of us stood chatting and looking out over one of the nicest sunset views in Secondlife.

Below you see day two of her current build. Among my multitasking last evening was a wonderful long chat with Hexx Triskaidekaphobia.(and yes, I can spell it without reference!) What a wonderful guy... he sounds as excited about playing Benares as I am to have him. I recently linked a video of a performance... you might want to take a look at this website ... Look at the options on left hand edge of blog for links to videos and free music downloads.

While Hexxie and Madame are scheduled to perform from 3 to 4... he asked me if it was OK to run over =^..^=...how could anyone say no!

If you haved missed the previous announcement: details at this link,

http://brinda-benares.blogspot.com/2010/09/party-time.html

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

Party Time!

Yes, I've missed a day or so... what with the medical stuff (that's now looking like it's behind me) and then the PC stuff...sheeesh.

As with everything in any life it has been a time of intense learning.

A brief quote from one of my favorite authors Richard Bach , from the book Illusions. "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."************

I wanted to get this post in early.... loegan Magic has finalised the music for next weeks party at Benares, The date is Saturday September 25th 2010

We will open with Porter Paquot at 2PM SLT and then "The Born Again Pagans" with Hexxie at 3 PM SLT, {I've posted videos below}.

This party is 'Just Because'... I hope to see all of those I know in Secondlife come.

I plan on sending out personal invitations to all my friends as well as those of you that I only know because maybe I read your blogs...after all one learns a lot about people when you read a lot of what they have to say.

*************************Porter Paquot!!!*********************

**********"The Born Again Pagans" with Hexx Triskaidekaphobia********

Fantastic musicians and vocalists!!! Come join us.

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

Party!.. Accents... Broken Stuff...

This post will be a little disjointed.. my apologies ahead of time! {This was added later...you'll see}. ************** I've decided that I'd like to have a show/party at Benares. I first contacted Porter Paquot about performing and she thought it was a great idea. Next I talked to leogan Magic, the owner of The Kasbah and The Speakeasy music venues and asked him to handle the details. I learned a long time ago that anytime someone does something professional...there's a trick to it or we would all do it. This morning I contacted Hexx Triskaidekaphobia from The Born Again Pagans to see if he and Madame would be interested and I'm happy to say he was enthusiastic about the idea. BTW check out, "Run For The Money"...free MP3! The tentative date/time will be Saturday the 25th of this month...likely start time will be 3 PM SLT. I will be confirming that date and time as we go forward. ************** It's a day later....and what a day! PC ate a memory card...had to format hard drive (so I'm back to resetting EVERYTHING!). Of course the graphics card wasn't original so had to go to Nvidia for latest driver. Antivirus had to be re loaded... Programs reloaded... There was one very bright moment...at least it was a moment that totally put a smile on my face. When I tried to load the Emergence viewer I got a notice about 'side by side' something and it wouldn't load, see blah blah blah heh heh. A bit later I wandered around until I found the Emergence viewer support blog and reading some of it I saw something about going to Emergence folder and changing Emergence.config to emergence.exe.config.......The darned thing loaded! Now while that may not blow your whistle...it amazes the heck out of me. You're reading this from someone that couldn't copy/paste three years ago. *************** Had an interesting thought today as I was talking to HP support. Recently there was something said on one of the blogs I follow about those of us that speak English with an accent. I don't remember exactly now...but I think it was some absurd remark about one of the Emerald group that is likely from "down under". Personally I've always loved that accent...I say accent because it is only an accent if it's not your local vernacular. When I called HP support the gentleman I spoke to was Indian.... I was certain of that simply because of the time I recently spent in India. What was so interesting to me was his attitude when I asked him where he was located. I could almost detect a cautionary tone when he told me India... and then I could hear another change in his voice when I told him that I had just been there and how much I loved India. This gentleman was a true professional... he spent nearly an hour with me while I fumbled through removing memory cards and tried to follow his instructions so he could diagnose the problems. Now while I'm sure that I didn't get any special service, I also certain that he enjoyed helping me...I could hear it in his voice and his goodbye. It takes so little to help another have a better day. And that brings me to voice in Secondlife... I find so much reason to not use voice...by anyone except those such as Paisley Beebe in her TV interviews...or those in the music business. Never mind those of us with speech impediments... voice is just another place where some of us find differences. Text is a great leveler here... in my travels through the world the USA is often the place where I see so much of a "superior attitude" when it comes to those that don't sound exactly like the locals. Says so much about our attitude....sadly in a negative way. And so it goes I love you all, brinda Namaste नमस्ते