Leading by Example

I don't see her in search anymore...but she's always with me... ***

I'm wondering how we get to where we are, emotionally and/or intellectually, in our lives.

I do understand the concept of nature/nurture, but I sit and wonder why some of us {speaking of the human condition} turn out as we do.

I'm thinking in terms of how we end up determining where we set our boundaries.

Those things that make us who we are... as far as honesty, ethics, morals, kindness, and social acceptability.

Often it seems to have so little bearing on education...or at least formal education.

We see people grow up in terrible family/social systems and they turn out to be warm caring people that are a gift to all around them.

We see others that have all the privileges of family wealth, power, and prestige....and we wouldn't want to take them to a dog fight.

***

Recently there was a "griefing" episode I witnessed that very well may have been done by some one credited with the creation of the Internet as we know it today.

Someone bright enough to write a program that actually allows millions of computers to access information in real time.

Now if this person didn't actually do the act...I believe they encouraged the act and gave tacit approval. Certainly they were present, have at least a working relationship with the griefing group members, and said nothing.

I have no idea of this persons childhood... no way of knowing if they were physically or emotionally abused as a child...I do know that today that person is affiliated with a prestigious university and has access to any psychological/emotional counseling that could help a 50 plus year old stop doing those things that one would expect of a 15 year old.

I have met another person in Secondlife that again, I know nothing about past history... but this person has shown a pattern of controlling behavior and emotional abuse of just about anyone they ever came in contact with.

I have told people in the past that I came from a terribly disfunctional family.

{You know that family got along just fine after I left =^..^=}

I've spoken before about my extremely checkered past... a history of drug abuse, people abuse, violence, long periods of custody...and yet I kinda think I turned out OK. Today I can find any number of people both here in Secondlife as well as real life to cosign my act.

The qwestion I pose is : Why the difference?

Why do I meet so many that truly love to help where ever they can?

I won't give a list of names here... that's not what these ramblings are about..suffice it to say that our estate at Benares has an abundence of those people. Honest caring ethical people that want to try and help me carry forth the dream I had over two years ago when I named our island.

Why do I find so many that only seem to want to destroy anothers happiness?

I was reading one of Lalo Tellings early posts ...yesterday, I think.

He posed the qwestion about, "How do you feel about the furry community?"

You see, I had forgotten that the same people that griefed a discussion group on Friday evening tend to have serious links to groups that have harassed the furry sims in the past.

Why is the denial level so high with some people?

If I go to Cathedral you mean those dragons aren't really dragons?

If I go to Luskwood that wolf/dog/cat/giraffe isn't really a wolf/dog/etc?

You mean those are really humans?

***

I love Secondlife. I love the original premise, "Your world ...Your imagination".

I realize that there never has been a utopia...there never will be a utopia as long as that "human condition" exists... and yet here we can come as close as we ever could.

I also realize that pretty much everyone wants to, " Do their own thing" or.... "I got mine.. you work for yours". Yet both myself, and certainly the two that help me in the actual operation of this estate, share my views. Views that say why not take a few minutes of screen time to help another with no thought of renumeration....

Just makes a nicer world.

***

I'm much too old to believe I can change the world...

But I am old enough to believe that I can lead by example...

And you can as well...

I know for and absolute fact that many avatars still in Secondlife today will tell you they stayed because some one reached out a hand or paw and said, "Hi, Secondlife can be a little confusing at first...would you like a little help?"

In my case Prissielou Flora, She was three and a half years in Secondlife when she found me...

Priss, thank you for making me feel, "a part of".

***

And so it goes

Gently...

I love you all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

Distance

Courtesy of my cousin Lynn in New Mexico

Courtesy of Nasa and the Hubble telescope...(a very long ways out}.

***

Often the distances I see can be both further than I thought and at the same time as close as my skin.

And just as often my skin doesn't fit as well as I'd like. Darn it... after so many years on this planet...and so many years of practise I still sometimes find it hard to see the reality that this world is not here to please me. My gosh, aren't we supposed to learn that in kindergarten... or grade school?

***

I sat straight up in bed last night...I knew exactly what pictures I wanted for this blog even before my concious mind knew what I wanted to talk about.

My friend Polys been missing for a week plus... now not really "missing", she did tell me that she had some real life business to take care of.

Poly and I are a little over 2000 kms apart real life and will never meet, and yet at least for me... we are closer than I am with my own daughter. {That's where those pictures above come in}.

Close or far...Doesn't it depend on where you stand? Ask the ant on an oak tree if that tree is alive and you would hear, "No, my family has lived here for countless generations and it hasn't moved."

Perception.

In the true scale of life if we can see something... it's close.

As close as those two wild horses...

As close as I am with so many of you...

If I weren't close I wouldn't feel the pain of loss.

***

Here in Secondlife I have had the gift of meeting so many of you... and meeting you on a level that's difficult to achieve anywhere but a virtual world.

Lindsay, one of my newer friends quoted me a line from a song a day or two ago, a line I promptly paraphrased, but it did touch on the idea. She left me the link to the correct version in a comment yesterday and I'd like to share it with all of you, listening to this has helped me with getting my skin to fit a little better today.

Please enjoy.... http://ow.ly/1rExh

***

More confusing stuff for me... If I find that I don't like you {for whatever reason}, I leave you alone. If asked about you I will likely just steer the conversation elsewhere, and if there's an attempt to pin me down I try to only say something like, "We don't agree". I also have a reputation that I will never say behind your back what I've not already said to your face.

That leads me to a situation last evening.

One of the more controversial members of Secondlife has a discussion group on Friday evenings and if I can I like to attend. Last evenings meeting was *shadowed* by a group here in Secondlife that has been accused of griefing in days not so long ago. An hour into the meeting all the attending discussion group members started crashing... rather odd crashes... slow relogs...now while I don't know for certain that the shadowing group members were responsible it seemed odd that 10 or 12 people would, one at a time, crash. Oh btw, the shadowing group members bear much ill will to the leader of the discussion group... coincidence? Maybe.

I guess where I'm going with this is ...why? Now if the shadowing group was responsible, and they were kids...OK.. perhaps they didn't have as much parental control as they could have used. These are adults... people I deem adult...some not in their 2os or 30s but 50s.

In this case I think I see my way as the better choice, it makes my skin fit better.

***

I have so few answers to much of what confronts me in life... today I took solace in a long chat with Ling. Ling and I have been doing Secondlife since late 2007 I think, she was with me before I left Arrazura... we did Lythria together. While I have children ten years older than Ling, I should be blessed that they had her wisdom and tolerance where people are concerned.

Ling and I are as close...and yet as far apart as any two people could be. Help and love is where one finds it.

***

What's that line? I'm not the person I strive to be...but thank goodness I'm not the person I was.

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda

Namaste

I honour that place where the universe resides in you...When you are in that place and I am as well , then we are one.

नमस्ते

इ होनौर ठाट प्लेस वेयर थे उनिवेरसे रेसिदेस इन यू...व्ह्वं यू अरे इन ठाट प्लेस एंड इ ऍम अस वेल, थें वे ऐ ओने.

Changes Fear Ethics & Love

Can we get to a point in Secondlife now where we can't grow larger? A few years ago one of the first land barons... more accurately a land baroness... started Secondlife with her $9.95 premium membership and parlayed that ten dollars into a multimillion dollar a year business here. In November 2006, Business Week magazine posted her as the first millionaire made in a virtual world. http://ow.ly/1qRXS I wonder are those days gone?...and if so, why? *** I imagine since the first cave guy/gal figured out a way to do something that everybody else wanted badly enough to trade something of value to receive {buy}...there has been competition to create that same widget and offer it for less. And if one has enough financial backing they could offer that widget at a loss just to get your business and sell you another object as well and still make a profit. Has The Benevolent Monarchy become a competitor instead of a landlord to the residents that have populated and created the content of Secondlife? ***

Meet LittleBlackDuck Lindsay... A really standup guy as I see it. And before you look at what he created... maybe look at this link. http://ow.ly/1qTPm

Thirteen sims... nine land, four water... A wonderful Victorian setting, thirty thousand invested and he quit. The above link explains the why...or explains why He's calling it quits. And he's not the first to quit... keep in mind that the nine full sims cost him $2655 USD a month in server cost...with likely another nearly $400 for the water. Where I'm headed with this is to point out that as far as The Benevolent Monarchy is concerned his $36,000 dollars a year tier is of little consequence to them...never mind the income they would also receive from his nearly 400 resident transactions at Lindex, texture uploads etc. I was asked very recently if I anticipated the further growth of Benares... OK, what would you do? If the powers that be care little for a $36,000 a year customer...how do you think they view our $6500? Will we stay?...As I've said before,...Yes, we will stay. Grow?... Not at this time. *** I never aspired to be a Anshe or a Desmond {oh that's right, he left too} I've always wanted just what we have here now... a place that I think is one of beauty and camaraderie. I have made friends in Secondlife... many of them people that I would never have met except for this platform. I am always interested in what has kept people here and particularly those that contribute to the societal good. They tell me that the uncertainty I feel now is just a part of this experience...things have changed dramatically here before. *** Rereading this post, I'm sorry it rambles so. I guess my fears are showing again =^..^= *** I heard such a great line last night from my friend Lindsay...I'll have to ask her again where it comes from...but it been on my mind all night. paraphrasing..."while life is a race, it's only ourselves we are racing". *** And so it goes Forgive my games of fear, after 68 years and so many miles it's still hard to remember that some love me as much as I love you, brinda Namaste नमस्ते

Revenge, and Still Love Goes On

Credit for this poem and the story of it posted below. Revenge... At times...I wish I could meet in a duel the man who killed my father and razed our home, expelling me into a narrow country. And if he killed me, I'd rest at last, and if I were ready- I would take my revenge! * But if it came to light, when my rival appeared, that he had a Mother waiting for him, or a Father who'd put his right hand over his hearts place in his chest whenever his son was late by just a quarter hour for a meeting they'd set- then I would not kill him, even if I could. * Likewise...I would not murder him if it were soon made clear that he had a brother or sisters who loved him and constantly longed to see him. Or if he had a wife to greet him and children who couldn't bear his absence and whom his gifts would thrill. Or if he had friends or companions, neighbors he knew or allies from prison or a hospital room, or classmates from his school... asking about him and sending him warm regards. * But if he turned out to be on his own--cut off like a branch from a tree--without a Mother or a Father, with neither a brother or a sister, wifeless without a child, and without kin or neighbors or friends, colleagues, then I'd add not a thing to his pain within that aloneness--- Not the torment of death, and not the sorrow of passing away. Instead I'd be content to ignore him when I passed him by on the street--As I convinced myself that paying him no attention in itself was a kind of revenge. Taha Muhammed Ali *** Taha Muhammed Ali is a Palistinian from Nazareth, born in 1931 in a village that was bombed in 1948 then bulldozed to make way for an Israeli settlement. He never attended school past the 4th grade but read all the classic poetry he could find. "In my poetry there is no Palestine, no Israel. But in my poetry-- suffering, sadness, longing, fear, and these together make the results: Palestine and Israel. The art is to take something real, then to build it anew with your imagination". Originally published in Shambala Sun May 2010 What a wonderful story...it does give me hope for this planet Earth And so it goes Such love I should have for all of you, brinda Namaste नमस्ते

Contributing

Look at how old these avatars are, and these were just the ones in our immediate area that clicked on the age finder.

Luskwood screen snip...{sorry not all were rezzed, took this via camera

from a long ways away, didn't have a lot of time to go and socialize}

***

Just a few lines this evening about a wonderful place... A place that's often seen as a little strange by some... If you haven't taken the time to get to know some of Secondlifes Furry community you might be missing something.

A new girl stopped by and as is common with many new people they start wondering where all the people are in Secondlife. We see sixty thousand on line... and then we log on and the place seems empty.

The thing is yes, there are sixty thousand online, but there are thirty thousand regions, so that's two people per region.

Then you find there are places with a lot of traffic and that leaves many empty regions.

One place that's rarely empty is Luskwood. Luskwood is the oldest community in Secondlife, a place inhabited by Secondlifes furry community.

I have never had even a bad moment at Luskwood, as opposed to all the so called "welcome areas" and some of the infohubs, so I took Mikeala there for her first introduction to what Secondlife could be.

If you read the rezz dates on many of the people you find at Luskwood you see a lot of dates from 2003/4/5 and later...people that are interested in making ....that's wrong....in keeping Secondlife a place where new people are warmly welcomed .

Where new people can ask qwestions and get honest reliable answers without fear of being embarrassed.

Where, no matter how long those older residents have been here, they still remember the wide eyed innocence so many of us had in our first days and weeks here.

Luskwood still welcomes me warmly after 3 years.

I'm not a gregarious creature in any life and in many situations I may well be the least technically astute... at Luskwood none of that seems to matter. When Mikeala and I went I didn't remember/recognize any names, but inside of thirty seconds I'm sure I can speak for both of us when I say that we felt a warmth and an emotional connection... the place makes you feel good.

My experience in Secondlife has been that those who come and try to improve this platform, for the most part, are the ones that stay long term.

Yes, I can take you to Ahern or Waterhead and point out rezz dates prior to mine... but it seems that many of those "hangers on" {the ones whose idea of a Secondlife experience is standing at a welcome area and using it just as a chatroom with pictures} aren't the ones that really contribute to this platform.

My feeling is that in any society it's necessary to actually contribute something positive...

Someday either I will leave you... or Secondlife will leave us...

On that day I want to feel that I made a difference... a positive difference.

I hope you feel that way as well.

And so it goes

I do love you all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

Holding on Gently

Smithy Miami has joined us! West shore mainside.

If you get a chance please welcome him.

***

I had an interesting question last evening...one that came just after I had sent an off-world Email to a resident. Btw I encourage all my residents to either forward IMs to Email...or as some of us have done... to create a Secondlife Gmail account {as mine, Brinda.Allen.SL@ Gmail.com}.

Occasionally there comes a time when it might be necessary to reach you off world. Anyway I digress... My friend had talked about a relationship that she had almost given up on three years ago, and how today that relationship is so rewarding for her.

I had said that it's important to know how long to gently hold onto things or people or situations until you're sure you have nothing to learn from them.

A bit later I logged in to Secondlife and Sophie IMed me to ask how I was doing. Now my usual response real life is to tell people that I'm doing better than I ever thought I would. For me that's so true... some of you know a bit about my real life story and know that it's unlikely that I would have lived this long if things hadn't changed 21 years ago. But what I said to Sophie was, "I'm OK". Of course she asked, "Just OK?"....Hey! At my age OK is wonderful =^..^=

And then came the question...well two of them. First was, how are we doing landwise?...

And Second, did I ever anticipate enlarging Benares?

As you may have guessed by this point I've been thinking about both of those questions.

First, We are doing well...only three empty parcels {and as I logged in today I was asked about one of them}...and are we going to expand?

I didn't buy this estate to make money... to make enough money to matter would require me to do the old flat estates cut through with canals and have a lot of them. OK, I could do that financially....but not realistically.

Then there's the community thing...I bought the main island because I wanted a place in Secondlife and I was unwilling to fight the PN griefer battles anymore. A year or so later our community got large enough to justify two more homestead regions. The "Benevolent Monarchy" has said that they will increase my tier on those homestead regions in July by nearly 8,000L$ each...

I will gently hold onto what we have. I haven't learned all there is to learn here.

In January I promised that we would be here another year...we will. Next January I look forward to making that same promise.

This coming year is going to see as much change in Secondlife as the oldbies saw pre 2006.

I hope all of you continue to gently hold onto both me and what we have here.

There is still so much to learn, and if we hold on gently we will know when it's time to just as gently let go.

And so it goes

I do love you all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते

Second Oldest Secondlife Resident?

Taken from IM history cause I couldn't copy/paste & I'm lazy

Look at the rezz date!

More hopefully as I dig deeper.... Secondlife TOS prevent me from posting this to a couple of you that I know are working on Secondlife history...

***

YES! I saw Alice yeserday...{didn't I read that lewis Carroll had a substance "abuse" issue?}

Gosh I love Tim Burton.... If you can make time to see this movie... and if you have a young daughter take them. Girls need all the positive reinforcement we can provide.

And so it goes

love to all, brinda

Namaste

नमस्ते