Unnecessary wories

***Skylers...way out west =^..^=***

OK..let me try again lol...due to my total incompetence...I lost the draft to this post. I was just at "and so it goes" :-( and pooof!

I was really stressed yesterday...worrying about this evenings party. Now in my more lucid moments I realize it will turn out fine.

Support...

A few of my closer friends understand that my social anxiety rules everything in the coming situation. Yesterday Ling came to where I was 'hiding'...She spent nearly an hour chatting with me while I was working on getting music URLs together for this eves party. Just letting me know that "A" everything would be fine...and "B' if there was a glitch, she would help.

A bit later, I reluctantly went to Grendels Children to look for a costume...got tunnel vision and had to ask Poly to come and find what I was looking for. Later she came back to Benares and helped calm me down. She said many of the same things I heard from Ling. That all this will work out fine...and that she will be there *just in case*.

My costume...I'm going to give myself up here. I'm going to be behind the DJ table as a very large black widow spider. OK OK OK...I know it's creepy. Come on....it's Halloween. I also understand a lot about me...the costume is in a way a defense mechanism...yup..I'm a little loose in my loafers=^..^=

Power...or the lack thereof..

As a Buddhist, and as a recovering alcoholic and drug addict I understand a lot about powerlessness. There is a potential emotional trap here for me in Secondlife though...it's a trap I see quite a few fall into. You see as an estate owner I have absolute power over my estate. Power that is so easy to convince myself is real. Whether our get together this evening succeeds or fails...I am powerless....and that's as it should be.

There is a quotation on the east side of the telehub at Benares. "Where love reigns, there is no will to power...And where the will to power is paramount...Love is lacking".

Secondlife and Love...

Secondlife is very funny in so many ways...I came to explore a new world...to have the opportunity to be anything or anybody I wanted to be. I loved the part that absolutely no one would have any preconceived ideas about me...that no one would be able to say "Yes, but I remember when you did *X*". Here it is two and a half years later...and people are able to say *I remember when you did so and so*.... The difference is that today I'm proud of what I have done.

Those that honour me by reading what I write know I am totally in love with Secondlife...and what we have at Benares. I came here alone...perhaps a little more alone than some of you. I found real relationships here...I found a family that cares about how I feel...about my fears...about my joys. Was all this available before Secondlife? Sure. But Secondlife has given me the key.

My great hope is that each of you finds the joy and love I have found at this wonderful experiment I chose to call Benares nearly two years ago.

And so it goes

I love you all, brinda

Namaste

Growth

A real life engaged couple...Marnius and Mrs Herring Winterwolf Separated by distance in real life..together here. ******************************************************

Thinking these last couple days about growth...not the growth we had as children...{the pencil marks on the inside of the closet door}...the growth spelled in so many ways as and adult.

My growth here in Secondlife started a couple weeks after I came...I came to Secondlife as a total noob where computers were concerned. Lala got frustrated with me when I couldn't figure how to create a simple note card. Copy and paste sounded like something out of first grade. And then I met Twinkle...I know...you've heard about her before. A year plus after Twin came Poly...I have gotten better, some. I still get frustrated easily...but I'm starting to believe some of the things that I'm told now about I'm not totally incompetent.

You see I think we all judge ourselves by how our peers do things....Twinkle and Poly both started learning about computers as children...certainly not in their mid sixties =^..^=

My social growth here is as slow a process as my tech growth. I was reminded of all that again yesterday by my new friend Fran. Fran is from Ecuador but unless you were to ask her you'ed likely not figure that out quickly... Frans english is perfect. She's bright and quick...{I think}. You ask her...she doesn't think so. She, like me, judges her competancy here by the rest of us.

I have some idea of how many people I've worked with as nooblets...{best guesstimate is well over 1000}...I know quick! lol. Fran's quick.

Frans also quick to find that Secondlife can be a lonely place as well...Today I was able to ask Lita, my Peruvian friend, to stop by and chat with Fran. {my gosh...you can't believe how fast those two can type in Spanish ROFL!

There's other growth as well...

My dear friend Kattie is back...the emotional growth I see in her is astonishing. I've been blessed to have had the opportunity to watch my secondlife daughter Lala grow from an 18 year old to the young college woman she is now. And sadly I've seen the lack of growth....actually a reversion to childlike emotional actions of some. I've seen people completely make a mockery of their professed religious background....People make a mockery of their marrige vows...People become thieves...Some become emotional abusers of others. That's not growth.

Does it matter that this is a virtual world? I don't think so...ethics and moral decisions just *are*. Quick description of ethics? It's what ya do when nobodies lookin' and nobodies gonna know! I want to grow as a person....Tech growth is nice....but I want to be a good decent person. I first heard the statement you can read in my first life profile nearly 40 years ago. "There's some folks that love you...And there's some folks that don't love you so much. But everyone that meets you has an opinion". I always add...*And you always know where you stand*. And so it goes I love you all, brinda Namaste

Accepting the good...And allowing space

Allies...The door seems to always be open. She's just that kinda person =^..^= *********************************************************************** I'm not sure of a title for this post...I do have an idea where I'm headed...{that's sometimes new!}...But let me see what comes up. There are about six residents around that remember the trials Benares went through near the end of our first year. I feel the responsibility for the situation our community found it's self in rightfully belongs with me....I turned a blind eye to resident actions that weren't good for us as a community. I didn't see the complete end of all that 'till September...it was a long year :-). The ensuing mess, while a financial issue for a bit, has allowed this place to become what we have now. A place that's home for me....and people that I'm proud to say are my family. Prefacing my good news... My Grandmother was born in 1893 {told you I was old}...She had a fourth grade education...of course today in the USA...and California...that's about the same intellectual grade level kids graduate high school at. I heard a peer of hers say something many years ago that has stuck with me. 'Intelligence demands intelligence, respect demands respect, and some folks you just have leave 'em where you find 'em 'cause you can't carry everyone with you.' In any life it's often difficult to just allow people to grow at their own rate. We always have our own agendas...certainly here in Secondlife. The very thing that allows me to learn more sociality ...the anonymity...allows some to attempt to foster an agenda on others that in real life they perhaps wouldn't try. I'm still a learning growing creature...I realize that for a multitude of reasons...I'm learning things in my sixties that some people learn much earlier. I also see that there are those that are likely to not live long enough to learn many of life's lessons. One of my residents has made a decision to return to her former parcel after an absence from Secondlife...She too is a learning growing creature. If you were to ask her...she would likely tell you that this last year has seen a quantum leap in her emotional growth. This resident made a mistake...{btw...that's how every sentient being learns}. In an attempt to try and love everyone, others were allowed to try and push their selfish agendas onto this resident. What this person needed in order to solve some of her personal dilemmas was for her true friends to just give quiet advice if asked. To support her decisions even if those decisions were seen as *wrong*...to love her...and most important of all....to not push any agenda. I encourage everyone I meet in Secondlife to find a passion...to find something that keeps you here. Notice I said *something*...not *someone*. A few of you know how devastated I was for awhile when my friend Twinkle just couldn't do Secondlife anymore. She had made me a promise to help here...she met that promise. I got over the fact that I don't get to spend hours every week with likely the person that has taught me so much about the very basics of computers. That decision on my part was an acceptance that Twinkle has a given right to live her life in any fashion she chooses. Today Twin and I might see each other a couple hours a month...we will always be close as far as I can see...but the *drug* has worn off...we are just good friends enjoying the successes in each others life. And for me....That's a success story every bit as wonderful as seeing my other friend able to resolve the problems that separated our community from her. May we all allow each other room to grow. And so it goes My love to all, brinda Namaste

Lalas... My lovely Secondlife daughters place ************************************************************ Not a lot to say this eve.....however that may change in an hour or so. Fridays are the Memory Bazaar discussion group meetings. I've missed the last couple and I love to listen to the chat...chat I so often don't understand :-).

Above is Lalas...Lala is/was my first friend here in Secondlife and a treasure in my life. This is my favorite of her houses.

Just posted a comment on Dusan Writers blog concerning those who decide to leave Secondlife...I don't mean the countless numbers that just look around and for whatever reason never log back in. I mean the ones that establish a creative presence here and consciously decide to delete their account.

My house is a creation of Effulgent Brown...{Look for my post at Dusan writers metaverse for details..re: destruction, deleting avatar accounts} I hate to see creators leave Secondlife. Certainly those early members...the ones that helped make Secondlife what it is today. I don't ever envision not using Effies house. {A measure of dumb...I can't find the picture I took of Effie when she came to visit weeks after she left}.

Current residents know that I spent the last couple days adding some off sim mountains, waterfalls, and islets. While we like to look out across the open sea...a little variety helps...as well as the off sim option increases the visual size of our place.

I've had great input from the residents with this improvment. Adding things to Benares to improve the beauty is a passion for me...I continually wonder where the end will be....

OK time out...it's 6 pm SLT...food and then off to see if there's a meeting.

Back from an interesting meeting.....A lot of chatter about alternative viewers, Homestead sim pricing, content theft, and one VERY large landholder....{monthly tier exceeding $12000US a month est} that has defaulted.

There are those that rant about, *chicken little the sky is falling* as to the Emerald viewer.... most of that rant is just foolish. There is one concern...and the Emerald devs are working on it...one of my coding friends has told me that some of the script kiddys have found a way to potencialy crash Linden servers. It's being worked on and I see all will be well.

Homestead pricing...We will be ok...Just another reason to limit our size. As I've said before sizewise we can't comfortably get larger...just too dificult to maintain our tight community.

Often I meet people in Secondlife...or real life for that matter...that are so closed minded...I met one this eve...How soon some forget how confusing Secondlife can be at first. This eve while at the meeting, I looked at the Help Islands concurrency....I saw just over 130 new accounts...and one mentor. That's a common ratio...my close minded friend insisted that my presence as an alt out there was illegal. He refused to believe that Lindens were aware...OK...you can't have a reasonable discussion with a closed mind. Those are the people you just have to leave where you find them.

That's about all for today...A reminder that we are seven days from the Halloween party =^..^=

I believe that of the tremendous number of people in Secondlife....We have found as great a group as can be found...Thank you all...

And so it goes.

I love you all, brinda

Namaste

Goals

Breyes Place at Benares {aptly named Mi Casa es Su Casa

************************************************************************

Why are you here? I guess I should say...Why are you here if it's been a couple years...even one year?

I ask that question of everyone I meet that's older in Secondlife than I. The things that instantly *hook* us as nooblets I don't believe are those things that we find that keep us here. I certainly know that's true for me.

I can tell you that Breye, whose house I featured today, is one that does a lot of role play in a Western cowgirl setting. In that setting she's also found a niche where she can help new people wanting to join in that scene.

We have some here that are potential tech geniuses (my description..not theirs). I'm blessed by their constant tinkering....so far any problem I end up with...they either have the instant answer..or do in a day or so.

Others I think have this platform as a way to just unwind after a day or week of the ongoing real life drama that affects us all.

It's always been interesting to watch people change as time goes by...to see where their passion takes them. Myself, I went from owning 8000 plus meters of estate beach to owning nearly half a sim mainland. {I wanted to create a beautiful place on the mainland...that's a rather painful story best left for another time.} I ended up here.... this is what I want.

The house above was the last creation here of a former resident...someone who's early passion was building. Today I read her profile and I wonder what happened, her profile suggests role play that leaves me very uncomfortable....but it is her Secondlife.

We have residents that find it so easy to do here what I have to work at....They gather for social conversation...they go on treasure hunts...they use this platform for good clean fun... a social gathering place.

One of the most common questions any of us ever get from new people is........(ready?)..........."How do I make money"!

If I remember numbers...something like less than 2000 people out of all of us actually make enough money to earn a real life living. Never mind Ansche Chung, whose real life income a couple years ago exceeded $100,000US. It doesn't take us long to figure out we aren't here for the income.

Most of you know, one of my passions is volunteering time trying to greet new people. Another is getting involved in the day to day questions that I feel need to be asked in the forums, or of those that do have the ear of the "Benevolent Monarchy", or said Monarchy its self.

{Never in my wildest dreams when I came did I think I would ever even see a Linden..much less have one know my name...still not sure if that's a totally good thing! =^..^= }

I'm interested in improving Secondlife...for me...for you.

I didn't do well for a long time in real life as far as being part of the solution...I guess that's what keeps me here...Hopefully here, I get to be part of this fantastic dream....

And so it goes

I wish you all to fulfill your dreams, brinda

Namaste

Learning...Sometimes Quickly..Sometimes Not

Polys @ Benares North Mesa * * * * * * * * Learning and growing....In my case so slowly. Logged in briefly to take this parcel picture...only to see another missed opportunity for my growth. Just below where this picture is taken from was Markiz's 'Ventain Manor'. I never took the time to meet her...I was *too busy*. {That's not the truth}..... it's another situation of my avoiding social situations. It makes me acutely aware of the real reason I was instantly hooked here in Secondlife from day one. This platform has allowed so much emotional growth...and I recognized that early. It's much easier for me to connect with people when I understand that if I get too uncomfortable I can go Cntrl Q. I've posted before that I intend to personally meet everyone at least once socially....and I have been doing that. Under the heading of "practise what you preach"...If I profess Benares to be a community...then it stands to reason that I should lead. One thing that brought this to front for me was when Jace and Lotus left...I had never met them. Now business wise, I don't have to meet residents. Click about land, accept covenant, buy, pay tier box. Poly or Ling will assist you with parcel settings/options. Again...if I want this place to be different...the behavior must start with me. Never mind it's emotionally needed growth. Recently I had a long conversation here with a resident that has so much talent that ones first thought is *they're and alt*...no way they can be here two weeks and do what they are doing. Turns out they are new...and they are just applying off world skills. The biggest portion of our chat concerned feelings of shyness and not being connected. My resident has thought sometimes that if her one friend and mentor wasn't logged on she just felt lost. While I wasn't quite that paralyzed...I have mentioned that my early days weren't a lot of fun. Learning...I sat and did for my friend and resident some of what was done for me. I asked if it would be OK if I went to another resident and offered the considerable skills the distressed resident has. You see...so much happens at this point. One person will perhaps find more reasons to be here, another can reap the benefits of the situation, I get to repay some of what was done for me....and Benares becomes a helping place for all concerned to grow. Such a deal! =^..^= And so it goes With love for all of you, brinda Namaste

Loyalty

Our Dutch girl, Zarzs place * * * * * * * * I've been thinking about loyalty for quite awhile now...and just last eve I heard a few things that pretty well decided that loyalty would be todays subject. It seems common today to let our financial situation determine much of our loyalty. In the ongoing story of my life, both real life and Secondlife, I have been blessed with fantastic fortune. I retired from a position in the construction industry just prior to the financial debacle the USA finds it's self in. My former employer was one of those rare people that genuinely cared about his employees. So many times we see places where there is an expectation of loyalty up...seldom reciprocated by loyalty down. I see much of that here in Secondlife as well....People will abandon a place in a heartbeat for a few less linden dollars or a few more prims. OK...sometimes in todays financial situation some of us have to really cut costs where ever possible. It's another thing however to take help, money, and support...and then bail. A close friend of mine gave a few L$....and more importantly...they gave their talent and time to help some one else. My friend is such a standup person...as close as we are...I have only heard one passing comment. She did what she did to help in a spirit of love and service...and even after watching the person she helped bail out on us....she continues to help people when and where ever she can. That is loyalty to an ideal. Not long ago I had resident lose a real life job...that person came to me and told me that in a couple months they would likely need to move away from Benares. I have watched this resident over this past year...there's little doubt that someday they will return...some of those that read this are almost fanatical in their loyalty to what we have created here. Witness Allie, she's had her real life totally disrupted for a few months...and I heard her say a couple days ago the she will never leave Benares. She has to access Secondlife today from a library WiFi. I believe her. Yesterday I mentioned Twinkle and her loyalty to both myself and this dream we have here. I have Ling, Poly, and Bubbles...They work here, and there's no way I can pay them what they're worth. What price could I possibly place on their passion and loyalty? There are others...I won't attempt to list them all...First, I know I would miss someone...Second, I believe there are those that are quietly loyal... Some to the point of fanaticism. I intend to treat all I meet in the spirit that so many in all worlds do...with love and compassion. And yes...with loyalty. And so it goes With love and compassion, brinda Namaste

Friends and Friendship

Angelics Beach House...late model creation..old resident * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Friends and Friendship... Last evening I listened with a degree of sadness as a close friend of mine commented on the loss some months ago of her first friend here in Secondlife. I could hear the sense of loss... Her friend didn't die real life...That friend didn't even leave this platform. And I agree with my friend that much of what she percieved as friendship was a contrived thing on the others part. It still hurt. I believe that a great imagination is the key to getting total immersion here in Secondlife. For me, as many others, there seems to be a sense of vulnerability when first coming to this world. I see it first hand on almost a daily basis working with so many nooblets...We are confused...so unsure...much like moving to a new city and school as a child. I think I'm incredibly lucky in so many ways...My very first friend in Secondlife is still here...still my friend... Lala. I guess I'm learning that that may not be everyones situation. Since that evening at the Ahern Welcome Area there have been many *friends*. I use that term guardedly...since *friends* in Secondlife doesn't always mean "friends". I do consider many on my contacts list as friends...in a couple of cases I've actually been named executor of their Secondlife estate should something happen real life. Actually being a friend is to be trusted with a piece of anothers heart...not something to be lightly cast aside...or manipulated for any gain. I understand the difference between friend and mentor...Some I mentor become friends. One person that works for me asked me one day how many friends were on my contacts list. {You see for various reasons, after some time in world, I was her second friend.} I sat and counted...there were something like 100 plus names in my list. Some were my alts...some are residents here...many are new people that I have attempted to help enter Secondlife....Close friends?..not many. I have mentioned many times my friend Twinkle...We are still friends....Twin was in my first five friends I'm sure. Today Twinkle doesn't get in world often...and we don't touch often via Email. She stayed here in world long after it ceased being easy for her...{Twin is from Bangladesh and connection speeds there to run Secondlife at the speeds many of us use are prohibitively expensive}... My heart sank when she came to me and told me that her promise of staying a year to get this place up and running had ended. I've said before that her leaving was necessary for my growth....A true friend will not do for you what you need to do for yourself. I see no end to our friendship =^..^= Choose your friends wisely is something most of us heard as children.... New in Secondlife so many of us are still as children.... I want to believe that Benares allows us to have a place of love and trust....a place to both be a friend..and to have friends... It's your life...live it wisely And so it goes I love you, brinda Namaste

Are There Finite Limits to Growth

Caros East Dream =^..^= I awoke early this morning thinking about limits....Limits to our growth....both here in Secondlife and of course to much of the same limits in real life. How far are we willing to go? I've written before on what the Secondlife platform has allowed me to become. I sit and try to see down my virtual road... To see if I like where I'm going because this *me* is inextricably tied to the real life me. I do like much of what I can see....Yes, there is fear. Fear of not being good enough, smart enough, talented enough...and perhaps most important...honest enough. Wow!...honest enough. In the past few months I've become more involved in the forum/blog scene...watching, listening, trying to learn as much as I can about the limits others seem to set for themselves. Limits... There's the case for avatar *death*....{see May 12th...'Second Thoughts'...re: Rheta Shan}... When one starts mixing/confusing SL "love" affairs with the love affair of their real life...opting for a *tragic* end often fits their emotional needs. Some avatars just decide that the pressure of running two lives is a bit much. {see Oct 14th... 'What is this crap' ..re: Thoughts}. Others don't *die*... They just never log back in... And I often sit and wonder why. Was this platform too difficult?...Was there not enough time in their life?...Boring? I'm sure there are nearly as many valid reasons as there are people. My first "love" affair left one day when we were both so very new...in her case I did understand. Her real life partner felt threatened by the relationship she saw happening..{mixing SL/RL loves}. We have a resident here at Benares that came during the earliest days of Secondlife...He left for several years..yet returned as a new account this past year. Another started in January...was so timid...and I suspect so busy real life...that she didn't return 'till about thirty days ago. This time both of these people are actively involved here. Recently I went through the group members list...purging names that hadn't logged in since 2008. Today I'm sorry I did that...first, Why? Who am I to decide that someone is *done*...To set a limit on how and why?...I thought of how I would feel if I logged in a year or two later and saw that I was still a member of Benares. I want this to always be "home". In the future I will no longer purge membership roles for inactivity. I guess the answer to the title of this post is, "Maybe". Often self imposed limits.... But still limits. So often I have counseled new people that in order to stay here we must find a goal...a purpose. I ask everyone I meet that's older than 2007..."Why are you here?" So far I've never had the answer, "The pixel sex is fantastic!". I think by now, those who honor me by reading this understand why I'm here...{it ain't for the pixel sex LMAO!} Last thoughts.... Limits... As far as I can see..there is a physical limit to Benares. Three sims is enough...I feel that to maintain our dream here we can't get any bigger.... We chance losing that thing that makes us special in Secondlife..community. I still send a notecard every so often to Riggly Paine...I miss her. And so it goes You are all so loved, brinda Namaste

People

Boyds Fun House...The Elephants visiting Somewhere else just now =^..^= People.... My gosh, I would never have believed two and half years ago that my involvement here in Secondlife would have lasted...or had the depth of experience it has attained. Some of my closer friends here understand that I'm just not that social a person...{Why the heck and I so involved in a social world?!}. {Simple short answer....Donno.} I do believe that this platform and you people have changed me...in ways I would never have dreamed. People..the subject of this post....people from everywhere....some are like my next door neighbors....and yet these people may live twelve time zones away in cultures I've only read about. Some seem to have the gift..{and I believe it is a gift}...to make most everyone they meet feel as though they are family. I still try to place a flag on the telehub from each country we represent at Benares...won't try to repeat all for fear I would leave someone out...But our community covers much of the world. Our residents are young, old, relatively wealthy {often just based on where they live}, college students, retirees, professionals, artists, people involved in world social causes, regular working people. We have married couples...We have at least one future couple...single people...and for a year we have had no strife here. Would I like to take credit there?....Absolutely...Can I? Nope. I don't know...maybe it's just luck...maybe it's the name... There isn't much that suprises me at this point in my life....If I haven't done it { that covers a lot of ground!}...I have close friends that have. While not suprised...I do get disappointed when I see some things. I once worked at a company where the owners father still came everyday to 'work'. I was in my late twenties...the owner was in his sixties...grandfather was in his early nineties. Alandale....maybe the first truly totally honest person I've ever met. He had never so much as taken a dubious deduction on his taxes...even if he wouldn't be caught. His philosophy?...If you think it..you've done it. I don't know about that one :-)... I have seen people try to *cut corners*. The guy that pretends to be SO involved with someone yet has to hide his location in-world while he's having pixel sex with a another woman that is supposedly happily married in real life. I have seen people try and let their tier box go a few days in arrears in order to get and extra dollar thirty cents US. Others take advantage of someones real life emotional situation in order to control them. I can't do those things today...I have been there and done all of those things real life and a heck of a lot more...What price do I put on myself? Today I feel that the dream I had in January 2008?....It's alive here at this pixel place in time and space. While I never want this to end....I do understand that all is impermanent...this to shall change. And so it goes I thank all of those in Secondlife that have allowed this dream to flourish I love you all, brinda Namaste

Arrogance...or I'm SO important!

Sabre and Jaris Place West Sim A beautiful place that has absolutely nothing to do with todays post....=^..^= Arrogance...Certainly one of my many perceived *sins* in years gone by. Today I'de like to think I'm past most of that. Quick story real life....I'm impressed by higher education...If nothing else, I'm impressed with the dedication it requires to go to school for that long! A former friend of mine has a Doctorate in education, a Masters degree in speech pathology, and works with developementaly disabled children....A very smart woman. I asked her one day if I was an elitest...{for what ever reason that day I was feeling particulary superior =^..^=}. My friend patted me gently on the shoulder and explained so patiently..."No my dear, and you may not be exceptionaly bright. The world is full of really dumb son's a bitches". (I could have gone a long time without hearing that..ROFL..but it was exactly what I needed.) As many of you know, I spend some time every week on the Help Islands. We all remember how confusing this new world was upon our arrival. And most of the time we just learned as best we could. I don't have the numbers now..but in 2007 there were indications that nearly 15% of new accounts never left the old Orientation Islands....people found the platform just too confusing. Past studies have shown that our first hour in world has a tremendous impact on whether we stay in Secondlife...And nothing seems to work better at improving that first hour than One on One personalized help....someone to show you how to get that box off your head :-). That One on One help used to come from Linden Labs Secondlife Mentors... At one time there were around 7000 mentors...the Lab has allowed the mentors to downsize to around 1600 today...1600 is a sizeable number....but. I have a HUD that allows me to see the population on all the Help Islands real time..as well as any mentors there. At any one time there may be 100 plus avatars on the HIs....and sometimes I can see a mentor. One! There are obvious reasons...First..Having that Secondlife Mentor tag is IMPRESSIVE! =^..^=. Second...If you've ever worked with people less than one day old...often it can be frustrating. Some are just flat rude, some like myself, are technically challenged. Hey...If a mentor is out there looking for approbation...it ain't comin'... I have a list of perhaps 20 mentors I see regularly...they don't show up for *atta boy/atta girl* they show up to help. These are the ones that understand....heck, I have one that is willing to move my alt to another island if I need. These are the mentors happy to see there are people to share the load. Arrogance... And then there was "Xxxxxxx" :-) And this is where this post title comes from. Me: IM..Hi "Xxxxxx"- Her: Are you and alt?- Me: yup, how are you, I've not met you before. my main is brinda Allen May 2007- Her: You're not allowed to stay here. -Me: Lexie knows I'm here {Lexie Linden}-Her: We all have mentors training...follow the Tao and TOS- Me: Here..{I send her my list of 20 mentors} IM any of these you recognize. There's nothing written about what you're saying. This went on a couple more minutes till I suggested that I wasn't leaving and that her attitude wasn't helpful to anyone and walked away. Today...I enjoy watching some of the people here at Benares create, build, learn, grow, become someone different. Yes..often you don't do it *my way*...that's OK...it's not my secondlife..it's yours. Today...I understand that you know as much as I about how to live....we all learn in our own way. I mentioned *sin* at the top of this post..If there is a *sin* it's to interfere with the growth of another human being. A quote from Richard Bach: "The mark of my ignorance is the depth of my belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." Please have faith in me..I do in you And so it goes Love always, brinda Namaste

Perceptions...Reflections

Benares circa 1922

Amber and Couchmans Place

Perceptions

The residents place posted is a good place to start. Amber particulary is home a lot...Seeing her on my Mystitool hud gives me a sense of satisfaction...If she wasn't having a good time..she wouldn't be there.

I awoke this morning to my cats purring...Cinnamon was laying, head on paws...eyes closed...about six inches away. Anthropormorphism...{wonder what her perception is of me}.

Perceptions....Our profiles here in Secondlife often say so much more about us than we realize. Even a blank one is telling...Darn it, I wish there were as obvious profiles in real life. Today the thoughts are just racing through my head. In advance, I want to tell you that one of my tales today may shock some of you...it's something that so many might find uncomfortable...and yet it's a lifestyle that many here in Secondlife do as fantasy.

Amy...{not her given name}...is in real life what we in Secondlife call an *escort*. {Btw...keep in mind... Amy's not a victim...this job is a choice...a job she likes.}

We can be so funny...as long as we don't call a prostitute by name...as long as we say *escort* we're OK. Now if you look at "Amys" videos posted on line, your perception is one thing. If you meet Amy in the supermarket...or on her way to pick her children up from school...your perception is another. Amy doesn't, *work the street*...you don't pay the bills out there... She's married...and like so many families...Amys husband lost his job. So for the last few months..guess who's paying the bills? My perception?... I love her!..She's so refreshingly honest...we share so much in our attitudes...She shares a lot of intimate details about her daily grind...{do keep in mind I wasn't always 67}. Yes, I do worry about her...and while I've never met her hubby...I can't help but wonder how heavy is his load...his perception. As *normal* as I'm not =^..^=...I'm the only one Amy talks to about the daily grind outside of those that are in the business...Hubby doesn't/can't hear...obviously her parents are out of the question. I'm happy I can be there for her.

Perceptions....Colonel Dorchester....Guys profile says 9/25/2009...Blank profile... Now while that's a new avatar...we never know if it's a new person.....My perception?....hmmm.....Well, I'm not sure. Let me paraphrase the note I sent that account..{deleted original}...

"Colonel...Why would you think It's OK to do a rude thing like leave a purple scripted penis on my land? Do you percieve I've done something to you? Or is this a case of juvenile enthusiasm run wild? I have also found and returned your *UPS truck*...prim litter. I hope your Secondlife goes well...and your social skills improve."

Those that know my old history can guess that my real life response might be so much different. {actually on a bad day here..it might be different as well :=) }

Perceptions...Child avies....Creepy. At least for the most part. One of my closest friends *bought* into a situation where a *child* sucked some money out of both her and a friend. My response to seeing one now is to right out front explain that while I'm happy they're having a good time in Secondlife...I'm uncomfortable in chatting with them...and goodbye.

We do have a *tiny* here...I've mentioned Bubbles before. Such a dear...She comes everyday to look at everyones tier box...A job she takes seriously. And how uncomfortable could one get reading her profile.... "i can be whatever i wanto be can i be whatever i wanto be whatever can i be".

Reading profiles yesterday of some that have left. Just as in real life we each must find our own path...when I see the path that some have chosen...It hurts my heart. Our choices have so little basis on anything tangible...but that too is just my perception.

Lastly....I spent a portion of yesterday morning looking at a traintrip run by the Indian goverment...a week traveling in the footsteps of Guatama Buddha. Trip starts and ends in Delhi...travels through Uttar Predesh and visits many of the important places visited by Buddha including Varanisi {old name Benares}...as well as a site in Nepal. Nothing immediate....I will need to research the best time of year to go weatherwise for one thing.

And so it goes

All who come into my life give me purpose...thank you

Love Always, brinda

Namaste

Less Weight...more Fun

Halloween...dark history....but a lot of fun today. Here in Secondlife it seems as though most days can be Halloween =^..^=. A special thank you to Ling and Lala for coming to decorate the Haunted house... To Poly for the house and much of the contents. {If you look closely at the picts you can see who wasn't doing any work....hmm..see any really tall avies? didn't think you would..I was sitting on a haybale spacing! A party is afoot....This will be our second year doing this....and I feel this is more important this year than it was our first year. A little history...We created Benares January 21st 2008...Lala and I set the first palm tree that morning...{that's that silver palm tree just SW of my house}. We were so small a group then...originally just 4....then our Aussie, DaAngel, came...not long after Krasin. By October we still numbered less than 12 or so, but it wasn't unusual to end up with an impromtu meeting of 9 or 10 just chatting on the beach. Everyone knew everyone....A year later we cover three times the area and at that size it's too easy to miss seeing people. {Witness my last post.... re: screwing up and never getting to meet Jace and Lotus}. My hope is that having a group function will help each of us to connect a little closer to this *family*. Final details will follow both here and via group notices....Date is set.. Friday October 30th...Location is a skybox 500 meters over the public area....tentative time (so far) is start 'bout 7pm SLT...end...whenever your PC eats it's graphics card :-) OK....A word from our sponsor haha...There is a reward for a picture of me dancing...that reward will not be collected October 30th! Yes..I will be there...Poly has created a spot for me....{besides the oven she crammed me in yesterday..LMAO} Just try to pretend I'm furniture and no one will get hurt =^..^=. In a half serious final note...I have it on good authority that there might be one other residential estate that's doing what we are doing....a community. It's way easier to split board flat sims with little canals... parcel it off and make a profit renting cheap land/extra prims. That's not what we are about...and I won't do it. I've had great response from many of you...chat like that always makes me feel that Benares is in some ways a lifeboat here in Secondlife...a place of perceived sanity...a place where we all can feel we belong.. Thank you. And so it goes My love to all,brinda Namaste

More Bits & Pieces....Friends That Come & Go

Mags Slumber Party in My Front Yard!

Quinbys New Digs..Complete with Chicks,Bunnies, & a Clown..{Oh nevermind he went home!}ROFL

Jade....Finally

Jace & Lotus....An empty place :-(

** ** ** ** ** **

There are always changes in any life....Some I get to prepare for...Some..Well,I miss out.

In no particular order...Well top down I guess...The changes recently at Benares.

Magdalena Dreadlow has some real life considerations that force her priorities away from our Northshore. Many of you know that my Secondlife daughter Lala was sharing a place with Mags and a few months ago I took this picture of the girls teasing Cricky Coberts....Who but Mags and Lala would have a slumber party here. Mags is a doll...a standup no nonsense person...Mags..hurry back! **Hugs**

Quinby showed up a couple weeks ago....I've watched closely...haven't caught her drinking out on the East homestead...Must be a reason though that she's always happy!

Stopped by today to see her chickens& bunnies....Boyd was there visiting....thus the reference to Clowns =^..^=

Jace & Lotus....What can I say :-( I screwed up. You see a picture of their empty parcel...my screw up? I was always too busy to stop and say hello. We never know when we miss out on the friendship of a lifetime. Sources tell me that Lotus has recently had a real life job promotion...and for now.. there isn't time for Secondlife. Jace? You and Lotus ever return?...I will make time.

Jade...What can I say....Jade came here in January 2009....very unsure of almost anything Secondlife. Ling offered her a room at her place....the estate rezzed a skybox and Jade worked on a house. She promised me she would get a place someday. And here she is...on the West homestead. Sometimes quickly...sometimes slowly....rarely do things happen in my time.

Those that are gone? I still believe the words on my Tori gate.."We all leave a piece of ourselves on this island".

Those that are joining us? I hope you also leave something of yourself here as well.

And so it goes

I love you all, brinda

Namaste

Something I love to read....only words, yes...but the thought behind is perhaps the most beautiful ever. I'm sure all that read this understand a little of the spirtual path I endeavor to practise.

While I don't pretend to see fully...these are the words from an eighth century *Bodhisattva* {one that has achieved enlightenment}.....

"As Long as space Endures,

As long as Sentient Beings Remain.

Until then, May I too Remain

And Dispel the Miseries of the World."

Shantideva circa 700 ce

Relationships.....

Krasins place at Benares..oldest continual resident Katties Walkway..SE of Morris wing of Ahern Welcome area That word relationship can mean so many things to different people.... I'de like to stir around in that mental pot for a few... . There's the pixel sex relationship....The good friends....The business....The employer/employee....The mentor....The equal....The Landlord....The Dominant/Submissive or Gor/slavery stuff. As a personal issue, in Secondlife I've found the sex and the Dom/Sub/Gor areas don't hold any interest for me... I do, however, end up wearing many of the other hats. Recently I found myself mixing some of the roles in a manner that wasn't appropriate. I've had real life experiences where I became close/good friends with an employer....{you've heard the old, "Familiarity breeds contemp"?}...it tends to work that way. It's necessary for me to just buck up and accept my own decisions...not whine to my friends about the choices I've made. A few months ago I watched a friend of mine attempt to placate all sides of a dispute. All in all...a worthy goal...Her motives were pure. The problems began when the original relationship with some of the parties changed. One of the potential difficulties in understanding others here is that we are unable to see subtle body language changes...Our total anonymity is both a boon as well as a bain. My friend was placed in an uncomfortable situation emotionally...in an attempt to mantain her personal integrity she was forced to reject that situation. People got angry...hurt...and reacted badly. My friend just thought the best course of action was to leave Secondlife. THAT SUCKS! If I am your friend...I am your friend. If that relationship changes...we may not end up friends...but you can bet...I'm not leaving! As a landlord I sometimes end up taking off my *friend* hat long enough to put on another. I have a responsibility to all here to not let my friendship with one override the good of all. Equals has become the easiest hat to wear...In my case it's never far from mind that we all come to Secondlife the same. Business is another story :=)....I'm blessed by having a couple people here that continualy remind me that the *welfare* line isn't here at Benares...{ I try to listen to my mentors} I will continue to grow I hope. What's that Kermitt the frog says?, "It ain't easy bein' green". There are so many mistakes we all can make....I hope everyone of you will be a friend close enough to tell me when I step on toes. I'm reminded of a sign I have on a Tori gate....A sign I read constantly...one that I saw as hopeful. It says that, "Each of us has left a piece of ourselves on this Island". {It was misspelled for months!}....When I did notice it...a friend told me she had also seen it...but didn't want to embarrass me. Today I know that friend will tell me when I do stuff like that. Those are my friends. OK Stuff... I can remember where I met many of the friends I have here.... Wonder if Kattie ever remembered this place? It's the walkway off of the Morris wing of the Ahern welcome area =^..^= Another photo for this Post....Krasins place Krasin is my oldest continual resident May we all learn something each day And so it goes You are all so loved, brinda

Namaste

Responsibilities

Lings Beach House

Responsibilities...That word gave me mental shivers for so many years... Today..not so much.

A few years ago...long after I thought I had finally grown up and was responsible...I was "at the scene/site"..of an accident. A skateboarder tried to hitch a ride on my car...missed his grab and fell down at about 50 MPH. I saw him fall in my mirror...and yes, I laughed...I didn't stop..and went about my business. OK...bottom lines...I ended up in court...Judge said there was little doubt I would have been in his court If I had stopped...{There was no contact between my vehicle and the kid}...The entire thing became an insurance scam, {you see there were only minor injuries to this 28 year old},...cost me 23,000 dollars to defend myself... Responsibilty. The common good should come first...And who am I to decide where that line is.

I was asked by a friend of mine that was the director of a large social services network in town if I had learned anything. I did learn something.... I remember my answer exactly. "Dwane, I'de love to tell you that I learned 'this' and 'this' and 'this'. But I think what I did learn was what responsibilty there is in having responsibilty." Profound? dunno...was for me =^..^=

That was another turning point in my life...at that time that I *grew up* some...I was 56.

I have responsibilities here in Secondlife. I take them seriously...gladly...I actually enjoy them. I have posted before about griefers and griefing...that's a great example of not being responsible. As I see it... We..{that's you, I, and 'them'} have a responsibility to improve Secondlife. To work with new people...to practise the common courtesies that smooth the civilized pathway for all of us in any world. I think all of you are aware that what we have at Benares is so different from anyplace you will find in Secondlife. This estate is truely a labour of love for me.

I've mentioned before that while I can't say whether I would still be in Secondlife without those that have helped me...I doubt it. Certainly the quality of my experience wouldn't be what it is now. If it's that way for you...pass it on....It's fun...{lol, mostly :-) }

I want to publicly thank two people for the technical skills that have allowed all of us to have Benares.

Twinkle Villota I've mentioned before...She was the first. While not here much...She and I do connect RL Email.

Today, It's Polyhistor Serpente that really sees to the day to day operation....You rezz something that lags the sim?...While I may be the one that calls you on it...You can bet I wasn't the one that found it. Thanks for the hundreds of hours you spend on Benares Poly....As well as being a good friend =^..^=

This will be a short post...my apologies for lagging on this blog...as well as not spending as much time in-world as I usually do. I've not been as well as I'de like real life..nothing serious...sore throat...just out of energy.

Todays parcel...Ling.

Ling and I have been doing Secondlife for close to two years now.

Ms. Ling, You are so loved...:-)

I still go back to where the little white Tuscan house sat, and think of you when I rezz at the "Bridge To Nowhere" at Apollo.

And so it goes

My Love To All, brinda

Namaste

Gifts....

Gifts....

So often I have the ability to overlook whats really important in life. Maybe that's true for all of us....

I think of how my life has gone.....I'm a the classic tale of the old saw, "Don't give me justice...give me mercy". Some years ago I decided I wanted to go see the Amazon jungle....the trip was fantastic... The time to go is in January {"dry season" there :=) }...I drove to Miami for the flight south...Stopping at a friends house in Texas on the way. The evening before I was to continue, My friend looked at me and said, "You know you're not supposed to be doing this?". Why?, I said...Hey!..I never had enough money to make cocaine a problem lol. "No", she said...."Where you are supposed to be is either dead....or locked up never ever going home." She was right.

I look at where I stand today....both real life and here in Secondlife....I have been given so many gifts.

I've been allowed to help a lot of people..real life as well as here. I have such a vantage point to look and see dreams fulfilled.

Just one of the dreams I've been granted the grace to see is Andors place here at Benares East. When I bought that sim I sat down and laid out a parcel plan....I wanted everyone to have a place that fit their needs as well as a place that was..*them*. When I took Andor out to show him a parcel with a wonderful ocean view...and great privacy...he moved out there instantly....it was *him*.

That's the parcel shot for today. Andor called me yesterday to inform me that around the middle of this month his journey in life will take him away from us. My first reaction was of sadness....but after a 'not too sound of sleep' night...I sit today and am so grateful that I had a chance to both see his dream...and perhaps had a small part in helping it along. Such a gift isn't offered to all of us.

Of course all of you that do do me the honor of looking at this site understand some of my story of starting out in Secondlife, and the reason I do as much as I can to make the Secondlife experience a positive one for all that I meet. Valeri is our newest person to set her *home* here and that's just one more gift that I'm given. I tell all the new people to please feel free to IM me if they get *lost...confused...need Info* {Hmm...that must mean they're new =^..^=} You know?, some do...and that makes my day here. And all I'm doing was what was done so freely for me.

My friend that had thought about getting a homestead sim to use as their own has wisely { I think} decided that that might not be a financially viable option. For me it was good to have them come to me both to ask for advice...as well as come back and thank me when they decided that it wasn't a necessary thing for them. Today I can see that it's also a gift to have people respect me enough to ask my advice.

I haven't added people at the end or this post for awhile that make a difference....I've been thinking about it...{OK, OK, no jokes about smelling wood burning either! }. I have a couple today to add to that list...

Headed in world in a few to see if Barbara is about ready to texture her house....

Also...for the *geeks*... Check out the recent post from Crap Mariner, http://firstlife.isfullofcrap.com/ RE: Using an image map for web profile...darn it wish I knew a lot more about all this *stuff*...

And so it goes

I love you all, brinda

Namaste

****************************************************************************************

people that make a difference:

Ling Hotshot......

Polyhistor Serpente.....

Crap Mariner......

Preparing for my Journey...No Rush

Often I get an understanding of who I am...who I would like to be...and who I know I don't want to be again from my practise and from what I read. I'de like to quote something I just finished reading...it's from Stan Goldberg Phd. Dr. Goldberg is a teacher, author, and a long time bedside volunteer at a hospice in San Francisco. "Imagine you're preparing for a trip to a foreign country and your limited to taking only what can be carried in a backpack. Your decisions on what to take and what to leave behind will determine the quality of your experience. Too many items and the weight will be burdensome. Not enough of the right ones and you might be forced to neglect some basic needs. We make decisions of this type regularly. Take what's important, leave behind what isn't. But we tend to be oblivious to the importance of these decisions for the most momentous journey of our life....our death." I've learned a little about just what kind of baggage I should take with me on that..the greatest journey. But learning something and practising it is a very different thing. While I have on the one hand the example of my father who on his deathbed, was asked if I should be told said, "No!". That is a terrible load to carry with one on the great journey. For both of us...You see he offered me that load to take on my journey...the choice to pack that or not will be mine. I've learned some about living and dying...I've studied great lessons on just what to tote with me on my journey...and yet a part of me would leave some of the same baggage to my own daughter. I wonder how full my pack will be...and how much I will be able to properly dispose of. Ram Dass speaks of the grinding poverty one sees in India.... people in the streets of Varanisi...the old city of Benares...on the banks of the Ganges river. People he looked on with such sorrow for their situation when he first went to India. After spending a year studying... he saw that those same people...people with nothing to their name but a few coins saved for their funeral pyre were actually looking with compassion on him... you see they had made it. For a Buddhist to die in Benares is a path to enlightenment. Today...that's my goal...to die in Benares...and to not leave too heavy a load for you to carry with my name on it. And so it goes I do really try, brinda Namaste

Thoughts....Passions....Obsessions?

Thoughts......

So much going on in all worlds...We all understand the entire worlds economy has under gone some serious changes recently....Those changes affect our Secondlife economy as well.

While one may come to the Secondlife platform for free, and actually have a wonderful time...that route does have many limitations. The list is long...You want to build and create?...Save your work..keep an eye on the clock..}"sandbox sweeps every X hours...no warning"}...

You want a place to be able to display your creations or inventory?....not without your own place.

You want to have a sense of community?....Hard to do peacefully at a welcome area.

Here at *our* estate, {while the bill does come to me from Linden Lab} this place is *ours*...One can achieve a measure of stabilty for about sixty five cents us$ a day.

For myself, I have found that to continue in Secondlife...I had to find a passion...I know..I know, you've heard this before...

Over the last couple years I have developed relationships with those that came to Secondlife before me....my constant question to all these people is *Why?* Why are you still here? You see, if I wish to do as you have done...I likely will need to do as you did. In the last two years...the overwhelming thing I've learned from those that came before me and are still here? Passion. I'm sure that all that know me understand, for me, it's Benares. I wish for all of you to find your passion.

I learned many years ago that if one never "tells tales out of school" people will tell you things...often wonderful things. Below.....a couple.

Passions...

One of my friends confided to me they take great pleasure in sitting waist deep in the water just off their beach and thinking. One loves to change houses...{lol, I've lost count of the different houses}... Another would sit on the railing at her horse corral and watch the sunrise..{where else but Secondlife can you have sunrise as long as you wish =^..^=} "Your World...Your Imagination".

Not Passions...Obsessions?

Many of us come to Secondlife and fall....I want to say "victim"...{sometimes, sometimes not}....to the percieved anonymity provided here. We end up experimenting with behaviors that might be thought of as *dark* in real life. I did briefly...the guilt got me. OK... gosh, what ever "floats your boat"...the thing is... your right to persue your passion should not be flaunted in front of those that find that behavior to be broadly offensive..{thank you Linden Lab}. Need parameters? Would you do it in front of your mother?

A newcomer here came to me to tell me she was going to stop coming to Secondlife...She's a medical professional, old enough to buy a drink twice over, certainly no "Babe in the Woods". She just doesn't want to have blatant sex facing her when she goes into a shop changing room. {Hmm...guess they didn't have their own place did they?! :-) }

I've made my stand clear on "criminal" behavior before...Your profile says you find murder, rape, child molestation OK? My estate..my rules..I don't think you fit what we are doing here.

The creators of the "Bloodlines" vampire thing have provided a script that stops those pesky, "bite requests". { I will send anyone said script if you just ask me....might just send in a group notice} I am OK with the vampire thing if that is your passion....but leave the public display at an appropriate venue. Make Benares your home. Both Breye and Skyler do RP at an 1860s Texas wildwest sim complex....They don't come "home" and play *shoot 'em up* :-)

OK Bits and pieces...

Yesterday was Mucaros six months in Second life.....You want to see what *passion* looks like? It's 'Caro.

Maybe a high calling..if not the highest..is to help another

I'm going to include a resident parcel screen shot with future posts for awhile. Todays will be Barbaras house...it's not textured yet...only a couple days old...heck, Barbara's less than two weeks old :-) Of course I, like most I guess, judge everyone by myself....How do people come here with so much innate talent?

As all of you have seen...I use the Eastern greeting/farewell Namaste often. For those that may not know the meaning....here it is..

From the Sanscrit..literally, "I bow to you"...a more intimate emotional translation is, "I honor that place where the universe resides in you.... when you are in that place and I am also...then we are as one.

OK..Thats all for now...Secondlife calls =^..^=

And so it goes

My love to all, brinda

Namaste

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