Perceptions

Our Perceptions...What One Sees Another Doesn't picture credit: Imnotgoing Sidewise

Hope Village...The View From a Wheelchair is Different

Immy...What I See is Someone That Cares

picture credit: Prokofy Neva

January 2009...What You See Wasn't What Was There

I'm sorry I missed yesterday...While my head runs 24/7 and saying most of what I'm thinking has become great therapy as well as an obsession , it always seems like there's *stuff* to do.

The evening before created a lot of different feelings. Everyday I try to, *make my rounds*, teleporting to Ross, Morris, Isabel, Waterhead...just looking for a feeling of what's going on in Secondlife. Ross is always my first stop....It was where I entered Secondlife, my first "home" location and so has a special place in my memories here.

Now as I teleported in, I could see on radar that it was going to be interesting...Prokofy was there clearing the bulletin board and Immy was helping a new guy change his default clothes.

For those that don't know the story...suffice it to say...there's no love lost on at least one of their behalf's. {Details here: http://imnotgoingsidewise.blogspot.com/2009/11/adventures-in-disruption.html }.

Now, not wanting to keep all the entertainment to myself, I IMed one of my friends to the *show* =^..^=. And that friend told another..and another...and soon we had a party :-)

After a few coming and goings...things settled down...and while a couple of my friends had heard me speak of Immy..it was the first time all had met.

With Immy a lot of what ya see is what ya get...She has given me good advice when I asked...and that meeting at Ross wasn't the first time I've seen her helping people.

Darkly Cute is her shop...and her attitude...look at the third picture. She's self descibed as a lil creepy. And I think a good soul. My Perception, yes.

Yesterday I explored a wonderful region...Hope Village. Secondlife is so much hope for so many. Among many other disability issues, we have people in Secondlife that physically can't stand because of physical limitations. In Secondlife these same people can dance, they can fly...what a gift!

Perhaps take 2minutes 48 seconds to realize that Secondlife is where that gift can be had.

{link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfP4DZa-GsO }.

My perceptions of *problems* melts away standing at Hope Village. I think yours will also.

Looking at the picture of Benares from nearly a year ago... One can see there have been a lot of changes, and while that picture looks peaceful...there was an undercurrent then that made life go in a direction that wasn't dedicated to the good of all. I'm glad we survived and I hope I finally learned something completely that my Mother told me so long ago.... "It's not wise to judge the inside looking at only the outside". Perception.

Had an interesting chat last evening at Help Island 224. While I can't *take this info to the bank*, I believe that the first of December may well see the end of the Secondlife entry experience as we know it now. Take a look at this

{ http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/community_gateway#english }.

There has been chatter on the forums for quite awhile that Linden Lab was going to *outsource* the entry experience. The way things have gone, retention rates have been around 10%...(I'm not sure of how long is "retention").

In the next few weeks I plan on taking some pictures of these Help Islands. The way pictures have become so important to me lately...I want someday to be able to share pictures of where I've spent so many hours. I'm interested if any of you has any pictures of the old Orientation Islands or the first Help Islands.

While we can be anonymous as alternate accounts in Secondlife...I gather that some of *the powers that be* know exactly who brinda is...{and sound like they're OK with my act}.

One of my "Kates" was addressed as brinda last eve on HI224 by someone who has been here since early 2004 and will be pretty much running a Gateway. When people like that tell me they want me to be a part of what they are doing....It overwhelms me.

Such a long strange trip this life has been.

It has changed my perception of myself.

And so it goes

Please be kind, some struggle under heavy loads.

I love you all, brinda

Namaste

Sometimes It's Just that kinda' Morning =^..^=

There's not a lot to whine about so far this morning...{Ah, but the day's just begun}... and while I've looked the days blogs...listened to Phillip Rosedales beach interview on Dusan Writers blog {linked here * http://dusanwriter.com/?p=758 *}...I've not logged in-world yet. So I may not know that the Benares server has gone up in smoke...there's zero back up, concierge phone service is down, the island was under furry attack with self replicating prims, our SLurl was confused with Help Island Public2... so when the server is replaced we will have 89 nooblets being booted into every tree and pond on the island,.............OH I'm sorry..that was last weeks *stuff* ROFL.

In a more mentally stable note.... Last evenings foray into the land where they're all 30 minutes old was wonderful. In a couple of sessions that totalled maybe 3 hours, I got the chance to do that which is another passion for me...I ended up dressing up 11 new people and answering questions for a lot more.

There have been numbers published by a couple of the Lindens, Alexa recently, that indicate retention of new accounts at around 10% of the total. A couple years ago approximately 15% never left Orientation Island. I will always believe that personal one on one contact would dramatically improve those numbers. I don't necessarily mean that Linden Lab should provide a one on one mentoring system...While that's a fantastic scenario...it just won't scale. What I think would work though, is a system of volunteers to provide face to face answers to the questions we all had when new. Maybe they wouldn't do the kind of personal attention I try to provide...but give new accounts **some one** to talk to. Back this volunteer group with official Secondlife Mentors or some kind of *watchful eye*. And that *watchful Eye* needs to be there 24/7. Secondlife is worldwide...only about 40% of Secondlife is from the USA...perhaps 50% or so from the Western Hemisphere...this is doable.

As the system currently stands...rarely is there any supervision at the Help Islands...what we have now is that usually there are 100 new residents on the most commonly used HIs at any one time...in the 3 hours I was out there I saw one Mentor on one island. That mentor wasn't there for 3 hours either. If anyone would like to check these numbers?...IM me, I will send you a HUD that will allow you to see the population on all the Welcome areas, all the Help Islands, and how many Mentors are on those sims.

The most common question I get other than, "What do I do next", is, "How do I go somewhere else"... {In case you've forgotten...there are prominent signs...There's a giant green beacon visible from everywhere on the island}...As new people we seem to have tunnel vision... We want to have someone say "Here, click this". Todays system is the blind leading the blind...

Having watched most of you that do me the honor of looking at this blog...I see people that would be happy to help any one that asked them. I believe that all of the people in our community are those who do take the time to answer a new persons questions.

For me, I haven't forgotten how it felt to, *not know*. To know that others seemed to have a better stand, or nicer hair, or somewhere to go or be. It was like high school all over again...and I was ashamed to ask.

If I can...I want to help as many as I can to know that the Secondlife Dream is alive for many of us. That's my passion here...the reason I've helped well over a thousand new people to maybe feel that someone cared about *them*. If any of this turns into something that speaks to you...come talk to me.

And so it goes

Love and care, brinda

Namaste

Coming and Going

**Lands End, Baja California Mexico...Looking Towards Antarctica**

The picture was taken at the southern most point of the Baja California peninsula.... Straight ahead to Antarctica...{it will be a very long sail}... And yes, I've ridden in a small boat through that hole =^..^=. There's no particular hidden message here...if one goes to 'Lands End', the finiteness of the third planet from the star we call Sol becomes a little easier for some to see.

Good news...My friend Poly and I were standing in front of my place yesterday trying to educate me on how to export XML files to my hard drive. Good news a couple ways....*A*... I really do know what that means today, and can do it. *B*... A friend I hadn't seen in two years suddenly teleported in.

I've posted often and {recently} about memories in Secondlife, pictures, and old friends. Giolla is all of those for me. Memories...Gigi knew the first four of us when I had mainland. She gave me a copy of a picture prim that I gave her... she's and old friend. I was her first friend in Secondlife...once we sat up nearly all night at one of my rental sky boxes talking about life in general as well as Gigi's goal to eventually leave Istanbul and come to Los Angeles. We talked about the difficulty of being a modern, educated, young woman in today's Turkey and the pressures that traditional families bring on those women.

Gigi fell in love with a fellow Turk...Often it seems that so many men just can't bring themselves to figure out that the new women in their lifes are their equals...and sometimes a step ahead... that holds true in any life. When the traditional stuff collided with the modern woman...Gigi took a long sabbatical from Secondlife. I think she's young enough and bright enough to have taken away a wonderful albeit painful lesson. I'm glad she's back... and I'm proud that she took the time to find me again.

How many times do I see people drift away....you don't hear from them for weeks or months...they've found other passions...you remove then from your friends list....And suddenly your "such a horrid person". {"How sad you removed me...What did I ever do to you?"} etc etc.

Told you Gigi was bright...calling cards stay 'till you delete them...she looked at the card and found me again.

Sadder news...We've lost two residents in a week now....

It's easier for me to understand one more than the other. Skyler was new...a couple months old. It so often takes a while to find our passion here...I've mentioned before how I ask any one I meet that's been in Secondlife longer than I why they have remained. Without exception I find they have found a passion that *speaks* to them. Creativity, service, community, {Or what the heck is Linden Labs gonna do next lol?}...these are the common passions. So far, I've never heard pixel sex, tasty vampire blood, wonderful slave handcuffs, hot pose balls, or any variation of that. If I do...I may check it out :=) ....because I want to stay.

Jade is a different story...She came early in 2009... with a great passion for building. She has a ton of talent...Like many I meet, she was doing things at a couple months old that I still can't achieve. She had always said she loved Benares and it's people and would live here some day. And she did...She got a beautiful private islet parcel..tryed out a couple of houses....started to furnish those houses...and then I guess met just the *right* people. First went the furniture....then she came to me and told me she had involved herself in a clan of some sort, and she felt the need to go live closely with that clan at their sim. Jade has promised me that she won't forget us...that she will come often and visit. I hope so...she's really such a great kid.

Some leave with no contact at all... Some will send me a note card...One I happened to see on the beach late one evening taking her prims. Jade is one of five that have come to me to tell me their plans face to face. That is a special thing with me...of that five, Angel and Kattie have returned...Rihanne and Gabby also came to me...though I doubt they would return. I do hope Jade comes to see us...and if she doesn't...Well, I think she did the stand up thing in considering this community as worthy of coming and telling us her plans. She will always have both a place in my heart...and a place in Benares history.

And so it goes

My love to you all, brinda

Namaste

A Time and Place for Everything

** Other Times and Other Places...A Couple will Remember This**

Remembering.....

There was a day before Secondlife...{Hard to see when I'm hip deep in this delightful world.} And there will come a day when there is no Secondlife. Obviously I don't have an inside view but... In 1900, buggy whip businesses were everywhere, today they're gone.

If you're new...take pictures...if you're not new..take lots of pictures.

I wish I had taken more and saved them. It's funny that in real life I've cared very little about photographing life as it's passed me by and yet here I have such nostalgia for events of just a couple years ago.

Stuff...

I had an IM from a person yesterday asking me about land....I promptly sent a note card detailing exactly when I would be in world as well as the names of managers that might beat me here. Later that early evening the person came and asked to see land.... I, of course, asked how large a parcel was sought. My questioner said she was interested in enough land to support 1875 prims (8192M2) as well as water access for her yacht. {Now unless you're a nooblet I think you can see where this is going}. "OK" I said...I led her to the north east section of mainside where there is a contiguous section that is 8192...and water in front. Then came "How much?"...17K L$.

"Well, that's 4K L$ more than I'm paying now, and my yacht wont cross the sim line without returning to inventory". Keep in mind this person wasn't new...and neither am I.

*A* if she's got a deal like that?...What the heck is she doing here? Mainland waterfront land facing a Linden sea doesn't rent for 13K L$.

*B* There's no way she's got a deal like that on an estate. (does she imagine her 150/200 prim yacht loads servers free?..unless it's docked on her land.)

I guess she will learn...I wished her well...gave her the name of the largest rental business in Secondlife and was genuinely happy she didn't want to stay.

When I say I was happy she didn't stay....well...suppose she had. I have a responsibilty to all of you to provide as great an experience here at your home as I can, that's why I have people here that watch for script lag and griefers. All you want is to log in and find a runaway yacht sideways halfway into your place..{just far enough out that you can't parcel return}.

I had an off world E-mail from a resident today...

OK first, let me say that I have people come here and stay... {Krasin has a small place on the East shore...she's had that place continuously longer than anyone excepting staff...including me..I've relocated my house once}.

I have some that come and stay for awhile..leave..and return.

I have some that come..stay a bit.. leave and I never hear from them again.

From the days of my mainland rentals {the picture at the top was the view from the rental houses}..I've wanted a community. I have always tried to wish those leaving the best that Secondlife could offer as well as returning unused tier.

My E-mail today talked about how there are those that retaliate with meanness and open hostility if someone won't follow the direction the *powers that be* determine to be *correct*. You leave them because the direction they are heading isn't the way you choose to live? You are ostracized

I think that's sad.

Last evening had both a very funny situation...as well as one of the times I live for. Funny.. I saw this guy that was maybe literally five minutes old...he was "IN LOVE" [with anything that moved] =^..^=. He was trying to tell this new girl all he was going to do for her. Amazing. The times I live for... Angi came to Benares...this young woman soaks up info like a thirsty sponge. My gosh...she was doing things in 15 minutes I didn't do for a couple years. Rereading this post...there's a lot I want to say. Yet at my age I am slowly learning just how hurtful words can be and that there is time to wait. Rather to bite my tongue than to needlessly hurt another... more will be revealed. And so it goes My love to you all, brinda Namaste

Growth...Mine or Yours?

***Twinkle was here last evening!*** Most of you that read this have never met Twinkle....for a variety of reasons. *A* She doesn't come in world often anymore....her real life career is off and running well. *B* She doesn't crave the attention... *C* When she is here she pretty well has to remain over 500 meters...the bandwidth available to her just won't support a lot of objects {or sound}... The bottom line is while I named this estate...Benares wouldn't exist without Twins help and dedication...When I wanted to do this place the technical challenges were more than I could handle. I have posted before about how important it's been for me to retain the friends that I came to Secondlife with. First was Lala...then Twin...(our rezz dates are 'bout 6 weeks different 'cause it took me nearly a month after I joined to get broadband). I have learned the very basics of computers from her...that's a difficult path to navigate when the teacher is of a different culture...19000 km away...and an engineer. =^..^= I've been thinking...{perhaps the three most dangerous words in my vocabulary!}... Growth here in Secondlife....what does it mean...and to who? In my chat last evening with my dear friend I saw myself proudly telling her my last couple of technical achievements. {I sounded like a child :-)...never mind the nearly 40 years age difference}. Simple things really...a textured landmark giver. A tiny sound clip I did with *Audacity*. Simple for some of you...not so for others. We both smiled at the vision of the two of us hanging in mid air a couple of years ago next to a 60 meter mega prim sign while she tried to tell me how to map the texture...{I wanted to strangle her :-) }. A little earlier in the week another friend and I discussed the paths that quite a few in Secondlife choose to follow....role play. Now I try to tell every nooblet I meet to always remember the first rule in Secondlife...HAVE FUN! (Thank you Ms Ling!) Sometimes forget that my idea of fun might not be yours. You see, for me, the *fun* here is learning how things work. While I started late in life both here in virtual worlds and in computers...I do have an almost insatiable desire to find out "why". I don't build well...Bubbles rabbit hutch is about the top of my skill level there...textures I'm ok with...my social skills I'm working on. Role play is social skills...I just can't get into it. And the inability of some RPers to drop the role bugs me no end. For instance...my Breye loves the 1860s west...she keeps a rather modest place here at Benares...but spends most of her time doing what she truly loves. I was invited to her place at the Texas sim one eve . Now being into tech details I saw the fire in her fireplace wasn't as real looking as it could be....and 'cause my friend Poly had given me some sculpted *fire*, I asked Breye if I could redo the fire and lower the prim count a lot. "Sure", was her response. The guy standing there started mumbling about "witchcraft" as he watched my typing AO. He sounded like he was gonna have a stroke as I rezzed fire logs and redid the fireplace. What's that line about a time and place for everything? Another...And this one just blew me away. Picture a wedding in Secondlife...The officiating *preacher* is "Big Pauly" ...he's wearing a gun!...the entire entourage is supposed to be, "The Sopranos" or "Goodfellas". I peeked at a couple of profile pictures...most of the people better not even drive down the highway near some of California's prisons. A Secondlife wedding? OK, that's role play yes.... but that one I do *get*. I have been emotionally involved in Secondlife...and at a deeper level than I am with those friends that are closest to me today. All of Secondlife is role play...even Benares, and we often lose residents to role play...usually it ends up for the good of all. I've posted before about my dislike for the vampire scene as well as Gorean and BDSM...and while I wouldn't refuse land to those involved in that...those lifestyles would be difficult to square with the community philosophy here. Again I come to those words that seem to allow me to just let others go their way... "Your World...Your Imagination".....your world...not mine...your path to growth..not mine. I need to work more on my tolerance. And so it goes My love to you all, brinda Namaste

The Gift of Ears

***Katties back home***

*** Da Angel...Home***

Magic...

Of the many gifts I've received from creating Benares and being a part of our community...that of watching people grow is high on the list.

One of today's pictures is a different view of Angels place...not because her place is better or worse or any visible criteria...but because of her history with this community. My last picture was of Angelic's place...this is DaAngels=^..^=. Angel. Angel was the very first resident at Benares {not counting the *first four*, {Ling, Lala, Twinkle, and myself}. If you speak to Angel in voice you will likely figure out where in the real world she's from...her voice is every bit as beautiful as she is.

Not long after Angel came she brought a "significant other" to join her. In many cases, Secondlife allows some of us to learn to set boundaries that perhaps wouldn't be so easily set in real life face to face situations. I am a big proponent of totally equality, and there are those that see my advice as meddling. {Advice almost always offered after a problem arises and advice is sought}.

After a few months Angel and the guy moved away...

A couple months later...Angel came back..{more often than not, those who leave Benares return}...She kept a low profile. She also paid off a few debts that had been accrued......by.......others.

That's called honest.

She quietly moved to her current parcel as an alt when we got that homestead...she wasn't being sneaky...just not creating discontent with anyone.

Angel has returned....completely...nearly twenty months since Ling first brought her here. She has grown into a capable, self sufficient woman. A woman that can say "No" to a real life that would have had world travel and comfort. Why? Because it wouldn't have been what really makes her happy. My gift? Watching, providing this place, and just being a part of anothers life.

More Magic...

After experimenting with exploring new living places and around other people for a few months, as well as taking a break from Secondlife, Kattie returned to Benares.

As you can see...though she was away these past few days...she did rezz the house... it's still unfurnished...but she's returned home to the same corner parcel she left from. I won't go into detail now...I've touched on all that in recent posts, but Kattie too has learned that in order to be happy, the first master we must serve is ourselves.

The magic? Again getting being able to see growth in another human being.

Sometimes the hardest objective view is that of ourselves. Recently I've been able to see and appreciate the gifts and the magic that my mentors have given me.

I judge my progress by others...and that isn't an objective view. My tech mentors are two generations younger than I...{I remember when there was no broadcast TV :-) }.

I've heard some of things that these mentors tell me their real life co workers do...or can't/don't do....I'm coming along OK.

Perhaps the biggest gift for me?...It's *The Gift of Ears*. Translation? How about that line from and old rock song...."Just because you can see the stars don't (sic) mean you can see the light"?

Often it's difficult for many of us to listen to the words of others....particularly when the words come from those much younger.

If I read a lot of the doom and gloom preached by many on the forums or the various blogs.........

Content theft...(yes it's a problem).

Third party viewers...(don't know if that's as big a problem as purported).

Griefing...(yeah...pain if one creates hate....sometimes just a pain if one doesn't).

Linden land pricing...(pain! lol)

It's so easy to miss the gift we all received...Secondlife. A place where I got to grow...and to watch many of you grow as well.

A place where I've found friends on six continents.

The gift you all give me...

More than thank you I can't offer

And so it goes

I do love you all, brinda

Namaste

A Lack of Fear

**A View of Our Home Looking Across the North Edge of Our world**

Relax there's time...

There us so much to learn and so little time to learn it in. I know this will sound trite to many of you....but it is true that youth is wasted on the young. {I told you trite was the operative word =^..^=}.

Life is short...and most of you will say that you know....(You really have to go a long way down the road before you understand just how short this life truely is).

Our Halloween party was a success...not because of anything I did...I just showed up! Poly rezzed the structure and modified it to look really abandoned {I saw what a job she had done when I went up to clear the site the next day}. Ling and Lala along with Poly did the decorations....I sat on a hay bale and mumbled.

The evening came...I got all ready to play radio stations for music.....................and Angel showed up..introduced me to her friend DJ....and.......he's a Real life DJ! He offered to do the show for us... I was thrilled. His act made our party fantastic...and allowed me to relax and enjoy myself.

Education

Again I learned that my fears are so often the fear of an empty room. I've spoken before about being sober for many years now. One of the early things we learn in sobriety is that substance abuse isn't the real problem...It's our answer to the underlying problems. Almost without exception substance abusers are fear driven creatures...I certainly am. I ended up for years in situations where it wasn't OK to look or act like I was afraid...so I learned to hide all that. Long after the scary places were gone...the learned behavior is what drove me and many others.

I'm not alone there...I've recruited Caro to help me mentor one of our residents. Caro works with the Second Ability group here in Secondlife, a group that mentors those that come to Secondlife with disabilites that likely would just roll me into a ball. I'm betting that with Caros help and skill...my residents desire to be able to better enjoy Secondlife...and the support of all of us at Benares, my friend will better be able to not only enjoy what we have here...but in the real life we all return to with Cntrl-Q.

Yes, Life is short and I need not waste more

And so it goes

Thank you for all your love, brinda

Namaste